Vaporware Memes

Annual Meeting Of Unhated Technologies

1 day ago 152.7K views 0 shares

The conference room is completely empty except for the world's loneliest table. Turns out when you're looking for universally beloved tech, you get PHP 6 (which never actually shipped), IPv5 (a failed experimental protocol that was skipped entirely), and Windows 9 (which Microsoft yeeted straight into the void). The joke writes itself: these "attendees" are either vaporware, skipped versions, or technologies so cursed they never saw the light of day. They can't be hated if they don't exist. *taps forehead* Meanwhile, every other technology is out there getting roasted daily on Twitter. JavaScript? Too many frameworks. Python? Slow as molasses. Rust? The evangelists won't shut up. But these three? Pure, untarnished, because they never had the chance to disappoint anyone.

Technologies Of Yore

php Networking Microsoft Windows Programming

1 day ago 101.5K views 0 shares

So apparently there's an annual meeting for technologies everyone pretends to hate but secretly can't live without. PHP 6 showed up (a version that famously never even released), IPv5 (skipped because it was experimental), and Windows 9 (Microsoft jumped straight to 10 because... reasons?). The irony? These "unhated" technologies are either vaporware or intentionally skipped versions. They're not hated—they literally don't exist in production. It's like having a support group for imaginary friends. Fun fact: IPv5 was actually an experimental Internet Stream Protocol that got abandoned in favor of IPv6. PHP 6 died because of Unicode implementation nightmares, and Windows 9 was skipped possibly to avoid compatibility issues with legacy code checking for "Windows 9*" (Windows 95/98). So yeah, the only thing these technologies have in common is that they all ghosted us.

Live Kernel Rewrite: The Mythical OS That Reads Your Mood

Linux Hardware Programming

1 month ago 150.5K views 0 shares

Live Kernel Rewrite: The Mythical OS That Reads Your Mood

Ah, the mythical kernel that rewrites itself based on your mood. Sure, and my coffee maker predicts stock market crashes. Next they'll tell us it can fix bugs while you sleep and optimize code based on your zodiac sign. The perfect kernel doesn't exi-- wait, did they just say "no reboot needed"? That's like claiming you can replace your car's engine while driving at 90mph. Linux kernel devs everywhere just collectively spat out their energy drinks.

When Pigs Fly: The Eternal Wait For Legendary Sequels

Gamedev Programming

1 month ago 119.0K views 0 shares

When Pigs Fly: The Eternal Wait For Legendary Sequels

Oh, the ETERNAL SUFFERING of waiting for sequels that may never come! The meme brilliantly captures the gaming industry's most notorious development hell twins: GTA 6 and Half-Life 3. Rockstar takes a DECADE to release GTA 6 (still waiting in real life, folks), while Valve has basically ghosted humanity on Half-Life 3 since... *checks calendar*... THE DAWN OF TIME? The Half-Life logo ominously hovering there is basically the gaming equivalent of seeing your ex happy on social media. The pain is UNBEARABLE! Meanwhile, Rockstar's over there smugly planning their Game of the Year acceptance speech for 2026. TWENTY-TWENTY-SIX! By then we'll all be gaming with our grandchildren or possibly our robot overlords!

Dev Dot Exe Has Stopped Working

Programming Webdev Agile

3 months ago 206.8K views 0 shares

The eternal struggle of every developer who's ever been in a sales meeting. That spinning wheel of doom in your brain when the sales team proudly announces they've promised a client a feature that exists only in their imagination. Meanwhile, you're mentally calculating how many all-nighters and caffeine-fueled coding sessions it'll take to manifest this fantasy into reality before the "reasonable deadline" they've also promised. Nothing like building the airplane while it's already carrying passengers!

Threat Non-Interactive

Gamedev Unity Programming Debugging

3 months ago 287.3K views 0 shares

THE ABSOLUTE TORTURE of working in game development and watching "Threat Interactive" announce yet another impossible game with zero actual code behind it! That suspicious studio that somehow has 50 employees but no LinkedIn profiles?! PLEASE! I'm sitting here debugging collision detection for 8 hours while they're posting 8K renders claiming "gameplay footage" and getting investor money thrown at them! The conspiracy is KILLING ME but I can't prove a single thing! 💀

The Wizard Of AI

AI Programming Frontend Backend

7 months ago 234.6K views 0 shares

Turns out the most advanced AI was just 700 people in a trenchcoat. Builder.ai allegedly sold "AI" that was actually just outsourced developers pretending to be Natasha the chatbot. The classic "artificial" intelligence that's actually just regular intelligence with extra steps. Next revelation: ChatGPT is just a guy named Greg in a basement with really fast typing skills.

What Is Feasible Analysis

Programming Devops Agile

7 months ago 140.1K views 0 shares

Ah yes, the classic "feasibility analysis" where marketing shows off vaporware while devs smile through gritted teeth. The image perfectly captures that moment when sales is demoing the "revolutionary AI-powered feature" that's literally just a mockup on a laptop. Meanwhile, the developer knows they'll be the one explaining to management why it'll take 6 months instead of the "2 weeks" that was promised. The universal language of tech companies: sell it first, build it... eventually.

Startupping Intensifies

Agile Webdev Programming

7 months ago 195.8K views 1 shares

Ah, the classic "sell the dream, build it later" startup strategy. These two are basically running the tech equivalent of a Ponzi scheme with PowerPoint slides. They've mastered the ancient art of "requirement gathering" by letting the customer unknowingly fund the entire development cycle. The beauty is that by the time the customer realizes they've paid for vaporware, you've either built something that kinda works or secured another round of funding from some VC who thinks "pre-revenue" is a legitimate business model. Ten years in the industry and I've seen this cycle repeat more times than git commits on a Friday afternoon. The smug expressions say it all – "Can you believe they actually bought that demo we cobbled together last night?"

I Raised Money From Vibe Capitalists

Programming Agile Frontend Backend

7 months ago 175.9K views 0 shares

The perfect storm of tech startup dysfunction! Two muscular figures shake hands, representing the unholy alliance between "Engineers who can't code" and "Marketers who can't market" - creating the ultimate "Vibe Startup." It's like building a rocket ship where nobody knows aerospace engineering but everyone's really enthusiastic about space. These companies somehow raise millions on buzzwords and good energy alone. The codebase is just Stack Overflow snippets held together with hopes and prayers, while the marketing strategy consists entirely of posting motivational quotes on LinkedIn. But hey, the office has kombucha on tap and a ping-pong table, so obviously they're the next unicorn!

AI Funding Needs To Stop

AI

8 months ago 207.2K views 0 shares

Just what we needed - startups promising to swap our heads like Lego pieces, but can't deliver until "within a decade." Classic tech vaporware with a side of body horror! They'll probably ship the beta with known bugs like "occasional neck disconnection" and "consciousness randomly migrates to the cloud." Meanwhile, their pitch deck shows a 500% growth projection based entirely on VC partners who want spare bodies for when they burn out their current ones. The finest example of "we were so preoccupied with whether we could, we didn't stop to think if we should" since cryptocurrency-powered toasters.

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