When Pigs Fly: The Eternal Wait For Legendary Sequels

Game developers at DICE apparently skipped CS101 where they teach you how arrays start at 0 and proper version numbering. Battlefield sequence: 1, 4, 6, 5. Just like how I organize my Git branches – chronologically challenged. The QA team must've been on vacation that sprint.

PC gamers getting absolutely demolished from every possible angle. Bitcoin miners drove GPU prices to the moon, AI training suddenly needs every RTX card ever manufactured, and Micron casually dipped out of the consumer market. Meanwhile NVIDIA's just standing there watching the chaos unfold, probably calculating profit margins. And then there's "Poor Optimization" - the real villain nobody wants to talk about. Your dream PC getting absolutely kicked in the teeth because some AAA studio decided 8GB VRAM should be the minimum for their unoptimized mess. You can't even upgrade your way out of bad code. The GPU shortage era was wild. People were camping Newegg like it was a Supreme drop, paying scalper prices that would make a loan shark blush, all while game devs kept pushing "recommended specs" higher. Fun times.

So RAM manufacturers are out here playing both sides like some kind of silicon cartel. They've been loyal to PC gamers for decades, but suddenly AI data centers show up with their billion-dollar budgets and infinite appetite for DDR5, and now gamers can't afford a decent 32GB kit without selling a kidney. The betrayal is real. One day you're building a gaming rig for a reasonable price, the next day Nvidia's buying up all the RAM for their H100 clusters and you're stuck with 16GB wondering why your Chrome tabs are swapping to disk. At least data centers pay enterprise prices—gamers just get the emotional damage and inflated MSRPs.

The mythical RTX 5060 has achieved the impossible - scoring exactly 0 FPS with no drivers installed! It's like trying to drive a Ferrari without a steering wheel or engine. The graph shows every other GPU flexing their ray-tracing muscles while the 5060 sits at the bottom with a sad little "()" instead of actual numbers. Whoever made this fake benchmark chart forgot that GPUs need, you know, actual software to function. It's basically the hardware equivalent of dividing by zero - mathematically undefined, practically hilarious. Next benchmark: testing how well it performs as an expensive paperweight!

Unreal Engine out here acting like your helicopter parent, telling you your beast of a machine with an RTX 5090 and 14900KF isn't good enough to run at 1440p 60fps because it insists on strangling everything through a single thread. Meanwhile, id Tech Engine is the cool uncle who shows up and says "use ALL the cores, kid" and delivers billion FPS on a toaster. The difference? id Software actually knows how to write multithreaded code that doesn't make your CPU cry. They've been optimizing game engines since Carmack was writing assembly in his sleep. Unreal just keeps adding more AI-upscaling band-aids instead of fixing the fundamental performance issues. It's 2024 and we're still dealing with engines that can't properly utilize modern hardware. id Tech proves it's possible, but everyone else would rather blame your GPU than admit their engine is running like it's 2005.

Oh. My. GOD. The ABSOLUTE POWER TRIP when you make even the TINIEST thing work in Scratch! 💅 Suddenly you're not just a beginner coder - you're a TECH OVERLORD surrounded by your empire of monitors, ready to hack the Pentagon with your block-based programming skills! The way this character is DROWNING in hardware after making what's probably just a cat sprite move two pixels to the right is the most accurate representation of beginner programmer ego I've ever witnessed. We go from "I figured out how to use an if-statement" to "I am basically Tony Stark" in 0.2 seconds flat!