Dev Dot Exe Has Stopped Working

Content Me: switches from HDMI 1 to HDMI 2 My grandma: WOULDN'T THAT MAKE YOU A PROGRAMMER imoflip.com

When you're fresh out of bootcamp learning React and TypeScript, then someone casually mentions COBOL and you're like "what's that?" only to watch senior devs collectively lose their minds. For context: COBOL (Common Business-Oriented Language) was created in 1959 and is still running critical banking systems, insurance companies, and government infrastructure worldwide. We're talking billions of transactions daily on code older than your parents. The problem? Nobody wants to learn it, everyone who knows it is retiring, and banks are desperately clinging to these systems because rewriting them would be like performing open-heart surgery on a patient running a marathon. New programmers see it as ancient history that should be extinct. Banks see it as the immovable foundation of global finance that cannot be destroyed without triggering financial apocalypse. The cognitive dissonance is *chef's kiss*. Fun fact: There are an estimated 220 billion lines of COBOL still in production today. That's roughly 43% of all banking systems. Sleep tight! 💀

Content Software engineers: it's just too expensive to optimize our code, also computers will be faster anyway in a few years Hardware engineers:

Content 82 Are You Male Or Female?

The four horsemen of the apocalypse: World of Warcraft, beige computer tower, Mountain Dew, and pepperoni pizza. Back when your biggest worry was whether your guild would show up for the raid, not whether your Docker container would deploy correctly. The "work from home" setup before it was mandatory – except you weren't working, you were grinding for epic gear while your parents yelled about the phone line being tied up. Twenty years later and I'm still staring at screens, drinking caffeine, and eating delivery food... just with better resolution and more expensive hardware.

TypeScript developers be like: "I'll just create 47 interfaces for this simple function real quick!" Then spend the next three hours debugging why IUserServiceProviderFactoryImplementationStrategy doesn't properly extend AbstractUserDataTransferObjectInterface . The sweet irony of choosing TypeScript for "safety" only to build yourself a maximum security prison with perfect documentation. But hey, at least your IDE autocomplete works!