Corporate it Memes

45 billion hack attempts a day? That's what happens when your password is "Password123" and your security question is "What's your favorite bank?" The funniest part is some poor security engineer at JPMorgan is probably looking at these stats thinking, "Hmm, only 45 billion? Must be a slow Tuesday." Meanwhile, their firewall is screaming in binary and their server room sounds like a jet engine. Banking security is just a high-stakes game of whack-a-mole where the moles have advanced degrees in computer science.

Oh. My. GOD! 😱 The absolute AUDACITY of this organization demanding a PIN between 80 and 127 characters?! What am I supposed to do, type out the entire Declaration of Independence as my PIN?! 🔐 This is the security equivalent of asking someone to recite pi to 100 decimal places while standing on one foot during an earthquake. Congratulations, your account is now Fort Knox, but you'll NEVER be able to log in again because WHO REMEMBERS AN 80+ CHARACTER PIN?! The best part? They call it a "PIN" - as if "Personal Identification Novel" was what that acronym stood for all along. At this point, just ask for my DNA sample and firstborn child instead! 💀