Corporate it Memes

Posts tagged with Corporate it

Solves Everything
Debugging Windows Programming Linux Testing
18 days ago 71.2K views 0 shares
Solves Everything
You: *writes detailed 500-line bug report with stack trace, environment variables, and reproduction steps* IT Support: "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" The universal IT solution that somehow fixes 90% of problems despite all logic and reason. It's the digital equivalent of blowing on a Nintendo cartridge—nobody knows why it works, but it does. The worst part? When they're actually right and your meticulously documented issue vanishes after a reboot.

Seems Low
Security Networking Devops Programming
2 months ago 102.0K views 0 shares
Seems Low
45 billion hack attempts a day? That's what happens when your password is "Password123" and your security question is "What's your favorite bank?" The funniest part is some poor security engineer at JPMorgan is probably looking at these stats thinking, "Hmm, only 45 billion? Must be a slow Tuesday." Meanwhile, their firewall is screaming in binary and their server room sounds like a jet engine. Banking security is just a high-stakes game of whack-a-mole where the moles have advanced degrees in computer science.

Such Requirements
Security Programming
2 months ago 133.0K views 0 shares
Such Requirements
Oh. My. GOD! 😱 The absolute AUDACITY of this organization demanding a PIN between 80 and 127 characters?! What am I supposed to do, type out the entire Declaration of Independence as my PIN?! 🔐 This is the security equivalent of asking someone to recite pi to 100 decimal places while standing on one foot during an earthquake. Congratulations, your account is now Fort Knox, but you'll NEVER be able to log in again because WHO REMEMBERS AN 80+ CHARACTER PIN?! The best part? They call it a "PIN" - as if "Personal Identification Novel" was what that acronym stood for all along. At this point, just ask for my DNA sample and firstborn child instead! 💀

Our Cute Tech Team
Hardware Networking Programming Linux Debugging
2 months ago 145.2K views 0 shares
Our Cute Tech Team
This is what happens when you outsource your IT department to the lowest bidder. The classic "we're working VERY HARD on your issue" while the tech team is literally just kittens playing inside your computer. No wonder your ticket has been "in progress" for three weeks! Those adorable little troubleshooters are probably chewing on your RAM while management assures you they've got their "best people" on it. Next time your computer crashes, just check if it's a hairball in the CPU fan rather than a memory leak.