Beginners Memes

Posts tagged with Beginners

I Know What You Are

I Know What You Are
The CS freshman starter pack is brutally accurate! They write "Hello World" once and suddenly have 4 programming languages on their LinkedIn. Their entire development environment consists of VS Code and GitKraken because the terminal is "scary." Their idea of deployment? Submitting assignments through Canvas. They'll spend hours hunting for that missing semicolon while sharing Boromir memes, and their entire personality revolves around the Minecraft-inspired "noob vs pro" dichotomy. The gatekeeping begins before they've even built anything substantial!

Youtube Knowledge At Its Finest

Youtube Knowledge At Its Finest
Ah yes, the classic YouTube programming guru suggesting binary is easier than learning Unicode. Because nothing says "beginner-friendly" like manually typing 01001000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 instead of just "Hello". And that 50% success rate is technically correct—the best kind of correct. Either it works or it doesn't. Just like how I have a 50% chance of winning the lottery: I either win or I don't. Flawless logic.

The Netflix Clone That Wasn't

The Netflix Clone That Wasn't
The eternal struggle of every frontend dev: creating a Netflix clone with a grand total of one video element, brilliantly named "fight.mp4". Sure, you've got the filename netflix.html open in your editor, but that's where the similarities end! Nothing captures the wild optimism of developers quite like thinking you can recreate a billion-dollar streaming platform with a single HTML5 video tag. The gap between ambition and execution has never been so hilariously wide.

Roadmaps Are A Scam

Roadmaps Are A Scam
Initially excited to help a coding newbie until they mention the dreaded R-word! Those 17-step "Frontend Roadmaps" with 47 frameworks, 23 build tools, and an arbitrary timeline that makes you question your life choices. Real devs know the truth: you learn by building stuff and Googling errors until 4am, not by following some color-coded flowchart that'll be obsolete before you finish reading it. The only accurate roadmap is: 1) Build something 2) Break it 3) Fix it 4) Repeat until employed.

Run Fast From The Java Explosion

Run Fast From The Java Explosion
Just committed the ultimate act of sabotage. Told my buddy to start with Java as their first language and now I'm flying away from the disaster zone like a happy little airplane. It's like handing someone a chainsaw when they asked for a butter knife. Sure, Java's powerful and employable, but watching a newbie wrestle with abstract factory pattern implementations before they understand what a variable is? *chef's kiss* Pure chaos. Could've suggested Python or JavaScript, but where's the fun in that? Some people just want to watch the world burn... or at least watch their friend's enthusiasm evaporate faster than RAM in a memory leak.

The Newbie Asking For Help On X

The Newbie Asking For Help On X
Asking for coding help on social media is like walking into a jungle full of predators. The cat (newbie) innocently asks about hunting mice (solving a simple problem), but gets bombarded with increasingly dangerous suggestions from the "experts." First the leopard dismisses the original approach entirely, then the tiger suggests deer (a completely different framework), and finally the lion recommends buffalos (an enterprise-level solution to a beginner problem). This is exactly what happens when you ask how to center a div and someone tells you to rewrite your entire app in Rust with a microservices architecture. The escalation is both hilarious and painfully accurate.

The Newbie Asking For Help On X

The Newbie Asking For Help On X
Asking for coding help on Twitter/X is like being a house cat who wants to hunt mice while surrounded by apex predators. The newbie asks an innocent question, and suddenly senior devs swoop in with increasingly complex alternatives that have nothing to do with the original problem. Junior: "How do I center a div?" 10x Engineer: "Nobody uses CSS anymore. Try this React component with styled-components." Staff Engineer: "Just migrate to Svelte." CTO: "We're rewriting everything in Rust and WebAssembly."

Just Read The Docs Bro

Just Read The Docs Bro
OH. MY. GOD. The absolute DRAMA of asking a simple coding question online! 💀 Left side: innocent newbie with puppy eyes asking for help in Python. Right side: the AUDACITY of these keyboard warriors telling you to "read the docs" like they were born understanding recursion! But PLOT TWIST! Bottom panel shows the rare unicorn who actually helps AND explains, getting a simple "thanks" while the rage-faces continue their existential meltdown about how you're "not a real programmer." The true heroes of StackOverflow are outnumbered by documentation-worshipping gatekeepers who'd rather die than explain a simple for-loop to a beginner. Heaven forbid someone asks how to center a div!

Ok Ima Fight Linux... Damn Linux Hit Hard

Ok Ima Fight Linux... Damn Linux Hit Hard
You start with such bravado. "I'm gonna switch to Linux! No more Windows bloat! I'll compile my own kernel!" Then reality knocks you flat on your ass when you spend six hours trying to get your Wi-Fi driver working only to discover your graphics card isn't supported. The confidence-to-competence pipeline is brutal in Linux land. That water bottle isn't hydration—it's tears from trying to remember if it's sudo apt-get or sudo apt install for the fifth time today.

Yep Again Same Vids

Yep Again Same Vids
Ah yes, the annual January flood of "Learn to Code in 24 Hours" videos that somehow take 3 hours to explain a for loop. The internet's equivalent of gym membership sales after New Year's. Just wait until February when they all mysteriously pivot to crypto tutorials.

Taking "Talk To Natives" Too Literally

Taking "Talk To Natives" Too Literally
Taking language learning advice too literally is peak CS student behavior. While everyone else is chatting with native French speakers, this ambitious programmer is flat on the floor trying to communicate with an actual python. The snake looks equally confused about this impromptu coding session. Spoiler alert: hissing at your reptilian tutor won't fix your indentation errors, and the snake's debugging technique is just to swallow the problem whole.

The Better Language Option

The Better Language Option
Ah, the classic beginner's dilemma. You're just trying to pick up coding, overwhelmed by the buffet of languages spread before you—Python, JavaScript, C#, Java—each one promising to be the one . Meanwhile, seasoned devs are in the corner cackling with their Rust bottles like some coding cult. The truth? After 15 years in this industry, I've watched languages come and go faster than startup CEOs after funding runs out. The beginners panic about which pill to swallow while the veterans know the real drug was memory safety and zero-cost abstractions all along. Rust is like that friend who does CrossFit—they won't shut up about it, but damn if they aren't in better shape than the rest of us garbage-collected peasants.