Just Not My Day Today

Content Kevin Quinn 1 year ago Learning command line is like learning spells at Hogwarts. sudo expecto patronum 16 2.4K 4 76

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Content Tweet 1 Am Devloper iamdevloper "An entrepreneur is someone who will jump off a cliff and assemble an airplane on the way down." - Reid Hoffman "A developer is someone who will jump off a cliff and tweak their editor config on the way down." iamdevloper

Content Ah University! time to learn about bleeding edge technologies and frameworks No we'll be going through deprecated frameworks in outdated IDEs Oh but we need those skills to get a... Android programming in eclipse

You know that rush of pure dopamine when someone finally grants you admin privileges and you can actually fix things instead of just filing tickets into the void? That's the vibe here. Being an administrator is cool and all—you get to feel important, maybe sudo your way through life. But the REAL high? Having authorization to actually push changes to production. No more begging the DevOps team, no more waiting for approval chains longer than a blockchain, no more "have you tried turning it off and on again" when you KNOW what needs to be done. It's the difference between being able to see the problem and being able to nuke it from orbit. SpongeBob gets it—that ecstatic, unhinged joy of finally having the keys to the kingdom. Now excuse me while I deploy on a Friday.

Content Anonymous Mon 20 Jul 2020 12:14:37 No.76848836 76848808 76848065 at college have a brand new Thinkpad everybody else is using ipads, or some cheaper tablet, a few macbooks professer is a huge macfag tells us mac is the future and we are stupid if we don't get a mac tell him he is wrong he pulls me up to compare my laptop to his macbook mine is faster, and better in every way starts getting mad he pours water over mine by "accident" "oh no! your 90's laptop is dead! you had better go buy a new macbook after class today!" "Actually, this is a 2000 top of the range thinkad, and it's water proof" hold my still running laptop over his macbook and the water drains onto his and kills his "the fuck did you just do? GET OUT OF MY CLASS!" tried to get me expelled they look at the security footage come back next week and see a new lecturer. he's a huge Linuxopen source fag has Richard Stallman picture on his thinkpad ProdrammerHumor io