The JSON Identity Crisis

Content New Web Devs React Git GitHub JavaScript HTMLCSS imottio.com

When your Vue.js component mounts and decides to load the entire universe into memory. That's not AI replacing us—it's recursive template nesting replacing our sanity! The developer who wrote this probably started with a simple component and kept saying "just one more nested group" until they created function names longer than most people's commit messages. The real irony? This code runs perfectly fine until someone needs to debug it, at which point they'll need therapy, not ChatGPT.

Content This is a motherfucking website. And it's fucking perfect. Seriously, what the fuck else do you want? You probably build websites and think your shit is special. You think your 13 megabyte parallax-ative home page is going to get you some tUCKIng AWard Da1 mer vou can glue to the too corner of vOus 40-Dound 1Oue tile and 85 Do viiis give la a Done Shit's lightweight and loads fast Fits on all vour shitty screen Looks the same in all vour shitty browsers The mothertuckers accessible to every asshole that visits your site Shits legible and gets your fucking point across it you had one instead of just 5mb pics of hipsters drinking coffee Well guess what, mothertucKer: You. Are. Over-designing. Look at this shit. It's a motherfucking website. Why the fuck do vou need to animate a fucking trend-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit? You spent hours on it and added 80 kilobvtes to vour fucking site. and some mothertucker jabbing at it on their 1Pad with fat sausage fingers will never see Not to mention blind people will never see that shit, they don't see any of you You never knew it, but this is your pertect website. Heres why. It's fucking lightweight This entire page weighs less than the gradient-meshed facebook logo on your fucking Wordpress site. Did you seriously load 100kb of Query UI iust so vou could animate the fucking backeround color of a div? You loaded all 7 fontfaces of a shitty webfont just so vou could say "Hi." at 100px height at the beginning of vour site? You piece of shit It's responsive You dumbass. You thought vou needed media queries to be responsive, but no. Responsive means that it responds to whatever mothertucking screensize its viewed on. This site doesnt care it youre on an iMac or a mothertucking lamagotchi It fucking works Look at this shit. You can read ; Courses I'm Currently Teaching (1995) Ithas content on the fucking ser Fall 1995 me click some bobbing button tr ILS tags nd make CS101: How to literally use for-loops CSSS9: You will seriously get rekt by this course dont take it Last edited: Sep. 29, 2016 Contact Information Phone: (333) 425-5253 Fax: (333) 888 - 3424 Email: john(at)university(dot)edu Oitice: Generic Hall. 41) M. N. Shamalayan M. N. Shamalayan. "Combining Neural Networks With Natural Language Processing to Optimize the Hitler Problem." (ICSE-1998). M. N. Shamalayan. "Using Unguided Prim 'Trees to Solve the Matrix Mul- tincation Problem" (OSS-2000 M. N. Shamalayan. Using Large Dataset Combined with Support Vector Machine to Solve the Ice-Cream Optimization Problem. (1051-2002)

Content Brad Frost bradfrost nom install WARN WARN WARN install obtuse warning done install ERROR but don't worry about it install thank you! plea for donation warning in Elvish maintainer looking for job ;) gobbledygook marriage proposal added 2540950582 packages found 1029402984 vulnerabilities 9:33 PM Sep 29, 2020 Twitter Web App ProarammerHumor i0

Content Name a more ionic duo, I'll wait. Microsoft Visual Studio There were build errors. Would you like to continue and run the last successful build? X Start Yes Do not show this dialog again

Ah, the classic "npm post-install job hunt" saga! The maintainer of core-js (a critical library that half the internet depends on) is literally begging for financial support and a job in the terminal output every time someone installs his package. Fast forward to GitHub where someone opened an issue asking if he ever found employment, only to discover that years later, he's still jobless... and possibly in prison? Nothing says "sustainable open source" quite like maintaining code that powers billions of dollars of tech while simultaneously being unemployed and incarcerated. The real 404 error was the career opportunities that never loaded.