The Four Horsemen Of Programmer Reality

Forcing refugees to learn JavaScript? I can't decide if that's humanitarian aid or a war crime. Nothing says "welcome to your new life" like explaining callback hell and prototype inheritance to people who just want clean water. The absolute confidence of thinking you're saving the world by unleashing more JavaScript developers upon it is peak Silicon Valley delusion. Next up: solving world hunger with blockchain and React hooks!

JavaScript's type conversion is like that friend who's confident but wrong about everything. Empty string? That's clearly 0! "07foo"? Obviously 7! And my personal favorite: a tiny decimal like 0.0000005 somehow becomes 5, because who needs those pesky zeros anyway? The best part is how parseInt() and Number() can't even agree with each other. One sees scientific notation, the other just sees numbers to ignore. It's like watching two drunk mathematicians argue about how to split the bill. This is why JavaScript developers drink.

When someone asks why a button doesn't work and gets told to "lick it" - turns out there's literally an onclick="lick" event handler! The perfect blend of terrible tech support and actual code. Next time your app breaks, just remember: maybe the developer really did expect you to lick your screen. Tastes like debugging tears.

The semicolon - utterly insignificant in English class but the holy grail of syntax in programming. While your English teacher casually dismisses it, CS students are having existential crises over missing semicolons that break entire codebases. Nothing quite matches the sheer panic of debugging for hours only to discover you forgot a single semicolon on line 347. The compiler doesn't care about your feelings; it just wants its precious punctuation.

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Ah, JavaScript's type coercion explained with toilet paper. Pure genius. Non-zero value: Has toilet paper. Works as expected. 0: Empty roll but still there. Technically exists but utterly useless. null: Just the holder. Someone deliberately removed the toilet paper. undefined: No toilet paper holder at all. Whoever built this bathroom forgot a critical component. And yet somehow all of these evaluate to false in an if statement. JavaScript, where the rules are made up and the types don't matter.