Fair Enough (AI Will Fix It)

Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tcl: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Cog: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Perl6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft ProarammerHumor.io

THE ABSOLUTE HORROR of returning to the prehistoric coding wasteland! After years of being coddled by frameworks with their fancy useEffect, useState, and useWhateverYouWant hooks, you're suddenly thrust back into the Stone Age of web development. It's like being forced to hunt your own food after living at a 5-star resort! Your fingers, once dancing gracefully across custom hooks, now trembling as they type out raw JavaScript like some kind of ANIMAL. The AUDACITY of having to manually manage DOM updates! The INDIGNITY of writing more than three lines of code to handle a simple state change! I'm getting heart palpitations just THINKING about it! 💀

Content Imperative stoneager Uses sed, awk, grep... on a daily TASTES 3 character long variable names "00P is literally Hitler" Never bashes rychon or Javascript. proudly uses them to make elitists Wrote 95 of all programs that power the modern world Doesn't care what OS or editor hee MIs main machine nappens to be a 2013 MacbOOk Air he got as a git Writes his own software runctiona elitist Watches Computerphile, thinks it's accuac programming "Monad g000" "Lazy evaluation good" "Loop bad" "Mutate bad" "Imperative not elegant" writes code on paper to avoid side effects Responsible or 0 lines or code in produccion Uses Emacs with a light theme on an oLd Debian machine Uses software written by imperative stoneager 00P boilerplater -obsessed newager His job consists of writing the same boilerplate code every single day and he LOVES it "Rust will replace C and C" Always includes a safety section in his documentation Watches Bob Martin, thinks the quy is a genius "Here is this awesome PR, bro, it replaces vour unsate code with my slow and verbose but safe code" His variable names consist of at easts whole words "Oh, I need an object for this piece of data, let me make a class No support for macOS, but writes an entire page of documentation on how to hack an installation on windows real ack to anticinate all the Best he's ever accomplished is possible scenarios mav or mav not writing a colored version or cat encounter in the far future" and Ls Responsible for 95 of all lines of . Uses Neovin with Grusboy color code in the world scheme on Arch Linux Uses JetBrains IDES on windows Uses bloated proprietary software Mechanical keyboard, 34-inch monitor no zoom when he screencasts, if you can't see too had

When someone asks "Is it JavaScript or Python?" and the dev responds "I actually didn't write much code - just prompting" you know we've officially entered the AI era of programming. The follow-up comment "So is it javascript or python? Jesus fucking christ" is the collective frustration of every traditional developer watching their craft get reduced to chatting with an LLM. This is the new reality: devs are now prompt engineers who vibe-coded a rage/timing game by basically having a conversation with AI. The confusion about which language was even used is *chef's kiss* because it doesn't matter anymore - the AI wrote it all. Meanwhile, seasoned developers are having an existential crisis trying to figure out what stack was used while the prompt jockey is already shipping features. Welcome to 2024, where "I can code" means "I can write a really good sentence."

Ah, the classic TypeScript compiler suggesting "tootlips" when you meant "tooltips". Because nothing says "intelligent code assistance" like suggesting a word that sounds like something a drunk person would say while trying to explain dental hygiene. The irony is delicious - TypeScript was created to help catch errors, yet here it is, confidently offering up nonsensical alternatives while your code burns. It's like having a spellchecker that suggests "covfefe" when you type "coffee".

The infinite nightmare of nested <div> hell! Trying to find an image source in modern web frameworks is like entering a recursive labyrinth where each layer just says "look inside" another <div> . You start with a simple goal, then suddenly you're 17 layers deep questioning your career choices. The cat at the end represents that sweet moment when you finally find the actual <img> tag after traversing the DOM equivalent of Inception. Frontend archaeology at its finest!