The 12-Hour JavaScript Tutorial Reality Check

Someone wants to build ChatGPT for $500? Sure, and I want a Ferrari for the price of a bicycle. This freelance posting is the perfect example of clients who think you can just sprinkle some PHP and Node.js on a project and suddenly have a multi-billion dollar AI platform. OpenAI burned through hundreds of millions in compute costs alone, but sure, let's build that on a budget that wouldn't even cover a junior dev's weekly salary. The 51 desperate freelancers bidding on this are either wildly optimistic or planning to deliver a glorified if-else statement with a chat interface and call it "AI."

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of still Googling "how to center a div" after 15 YEARS in this profession! 😭 Your FBI agent went from concerned to downright DISAPPOINTED watching your frontend struggles persist through the decades. The audacity of CSS to remain so utterly HOSTILE after all these years! Centering a div is basically the developer equivalent of trying to fold a fitted sheet - theoretically possible but practically IMPOSSIBLE without selling your soul to the flex-box gods. Even senior developers with gray hair and mortgage payments are still copy-pasting display:flex from Stack Overflow like it's their first day. The struggle is ETERNAL!

Content 10 WAYS TO TROLL YOUR DEVELOPER 1: CHANGE ALL CONSOLE SETTINGS TO BLACK ON BLACK. STRANGE.. NO DEBUG PRINTOUTS 2: HAVE THEM FIX OLD CODE. 3: REQUIRE IT TO WORK ON ALL PLATFORMS. IT WILL HAVE TO RUN ON IOS, ANDROID, WINDOWS PHONE AND THIS ROTARY FROM 1931. 4: HIRE UNQUALIFIED DEVELOPERS. CHAD WILLBE DOING UI. :DISREGARD ANY NEED FOPTESTING A TESTING PHASE (ISN'T REALLY IN THE BUDGET. IT'S JUST GONNA HAVE TO WORK B 6: REQUIRE IT TO WORK FOR ALL USER GROUPS. MR. NIBBLES SAID ITS VERY UNINTUITIVE. MEOW. 7: POP YOUR HEAD IN EVERY FIVE MINUTES TO BOND OVER YOUR STUPID COWORKERS SHARON USES A QUESTION MARK WHEN SHE GOOGLES A QUESTION. ! 8: BLOCK ALL ACCESS TO STACK OVERFLOW. NOW, NOW, NO CHEATIN VELD 9: MAKE ALL TASKS TOP PRIORIT THE DATABASE NEEDS TO BE UP AND RUNNING ASAP, AS WELL AS THE AUDIO ENGINE, CRITICAL AND ALSO 3D BUTTON SHADING. 10:ASK A DEV TO 'FIX YOUR COMPUTER' MR. NIBBLES WAS WATCHING GOOD WIFE AND SUDDENLY THIS BLOC THINGY CAME 70 re War and Peas

The eternal dance of trying to type return while Intellisense watches your every keystroke like a hawk. You start with re , thinking you're on the right track, then add tu and rn ... but that final keystroke? That's where dreams die. One misplaced finger and suddenly you're not exiting a function—you're apparently opening a RestaurantMenu class that you didn't even know existed in your codebase. The sheer joy on Intellisense's face (right side) compared to your growing frustration (left side) perfectly captures that moment when your IDE decides it knows better than you what you're trying to type. And of course, it's always when you're in a hurry or showing code to someone else that your IDE decides to showcase its comedic timing.

Content When the frontend is redesigned on the top of same backend..

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of non-technical people assuming Java and JavaScript are related! 💅 Honey, that's like saying a car and carpet are the same because they both start with "car"! The mental gymnastics required to explain for the 5,000th time that knowing one doesn't magically grant you knowledge of the other is EXHAUSTING! They're completely different languages with different purposes - Java's all "compile once, run anywhere" while JavaScript's like "let's make this button do a little dance when you hover over it, teehee!" And yet here we are, STILL having this conversation in 2023! The trauma! The drama! I literally can't even!