Java: The Universal Fix For Broken Things

The ultimate Java fix for anything broken: slap a logo on it and watch the magic happen! Just like how adding more dependencies somehow fixes your code without you understanding why. Sure, your vacuum might be running at 2% efficiency and consuming 98% of your electricity bill, but hey—at least it's technically working. Classic enterprise solution: don't fix the underlying problem, just wrap it in 17 layers of abstraction until it barely functions again.