I Feel Betrayed

Content when you do Java and try to handle exception leonardo dicaprio tom hanks STEVAL SPARES ALL catch if you can Supremely entertaining." -Stephen Hold The New York Times

The dream of using multiple programming languages in one project quickly turned into a nightmare! These devs summoned the unholy "Omni Mascot" - a cursed amalgamation of language mascots (Python's snake, Rust's crab, and Java's coffee cup). Instead of peaceful polyglot programming, they created an abomination that required immediate destruction via baseball bat and ritual burning. This is basically what happens when you try to integrate Python's dynamic typing with Rust's borrow checker and Java's verbose OOP in the same codebase. The dependency conflicts alone would make anyone reach for a blunt object.

Content IF YOU HIT THIS SIGN. YOU WILL HIT THAT BRIDGE

OMG the MENTAL GYMNASTICS we go through to justify our coding inadequacies! 🤸‍♀️ First we're like "I hate Java but I'm TOTALLY a coding genius" then we're like "OK fine I'm garbage at programming BUT THAT'S NOT WHY I hate Java!" It's the programmer's version of a breakup: "It's not you Java, it's me... but also it's definitely you." The absolute AUDACITY of us to blame the language while writing spaghetti code that would make an Italian chef weep! We're all just out here writing trash code professionally and looking for someone else to blame. PEAK DEVELOPER ENERGY!

Java's weight loss journey is more impressive than any before-and-after fitness ad. Java 8 was that bulky framework carrying around excessive boilerplate code like it was trying to compensate for something. Meanwhile, Java 25 promises to be the sleek, efficient language we never thought possible – stripped of verbosity and unnecessary ceremony. Oracle finally realized that "public static void main(String[] args)" is just fancy speak for "hello world shouldn't require a doctoral thesis." Next update: Java fits on a floppy disk and your IDE stops begging for more RAM.

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