Object-oriented Memes

Programmer X Accountant: Double-Entry Damage System

3 days ago 93.4K views 0 shares

Double-entry bookkeeping meets game development! Instead of simply updating health values, this meticulous dev tracks every hit and miss with proper accounting principles. Each damage event creates balanced transactions—when you inflict damage, both your damage account gets credited AND a missed damage account gets debited. Taking damage? Same deal but reversed! The compiler might not care about balanced books, but somewhere an accounting professor is nodding in approval while a game design teacher questions their life choices.

Organ Subroutines

Programming Debugging Testing

14 days ago 105.7K views 0 shares

Just like my code, I present a clean interface to the world while hiding the absolute chaos underneath. My organs might claim to be "functional" adults, but peek inside and you'll find a jumbled mess of objects with no documentation and questionable inheritance patterns. The cat's face is basically my expression when someone asks if my codebase follows SOLID principles.

The Identity Crisis Of This

Javascript C++ Programming Python Java

20 days ago 123.6K views 0 shares

The existential crisis of the this keyword across programming languages is pure comedy gold. In C++, it's a straightforward pointer to your class instance—neat and tidy. Java keeps it classy with a reference instead. Then Python swoops in with its explicit self parameter like "let's just call it what it is, folks!" But the real punchline? JavaScript, where this is whatever it feels like being that day—sometimes the window, sometimes an element, sometimes your function's parent... who knows! It's the programming equivalent of that friend who changes personality based on who they're hanging out with. No wonder C developers are looking at JS like they've witnessed a crime against computer science.

Finally Reached The Limit Of Object Oriented Programming

Programming Csharp C++ Physics Java

1 month ago 86.4K views 0 shares

Finally Reached The Limit Of Object Oriented Programming

What starts as a simple "model a car" assignment quickly descends into quantum physics. Just another day where inheritance hierarchies spiral out of control until you're implementing abstract quarks. And they wonder why the project is six months behind schedule. Next week: implementing the String Theory interface because someone in management read about it in a magazine.

The Doctor Will See You Now... After Sudo

Programming Bash Linux Debugging

1 month ago 80.5K views 0 shares

The Doctor Will See You Now... After Sudo

When someone screams for a doctor in public, CS PhDs suddenly remember they're not that kind of doctor. But hey, who needs medical training when you've got object-oriented solutions? Our hero tries OldMan.setHealth("100%") but forgets the cardinal rule of programming: without admin privileges, you're just another user with delusions of grandeur. Classic rookie mistake. The sudo command finally saves the day because nothing says "trust me, I'm a professional" like forcing your way into a system you don't fully understand. Medical school? Nah, just need root access to the human body.

C Like Father, Like Son

C++ Programming Debugging

1 month ago 125.9K views 0 shares

The naval mine (C) with all its dangerous spikes has spawned a smaller, arguably more aggressive offspring (C++). Perfect representation of how C++ emerged from C with extra features that can blow up your code in exciting new ways! The parent is already dangerous enough with manual memory management and pointer arithmetic, but the child adds inheritance, templates, and operator overloading to create even more spectacular runtime explosions. Just like these underwater mines, both languages will sink your project if you touch the wrong part.

The Self-Reference Hierarchy Of Doom

Python Programming Java

1 month ago 106.1K views 0 shares

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute HIERARCHY of self-reference in programming languages! 😬 Java with its pretentious " this " keyword? Barely tolerable . Python with its elegant " self " parameter? Now we're talking sophistication ! But Visual Basic with its dramatic " Me " keyword?! HONEY, THAT'S THE PROGRAMMING EQUIVALENT OF SHOWING UP TO A FUNERAL IN A SEQUIN DRESS! 💀 The title says it all - if your job forces you to code in VB, just end it all immediately! The TRAUMA! The HORROR! The SYNTAX! I simply cannot and will not with VB's melodramatic self-importance! It's giving main character energy in the WORST possible way!

Private String Gender

Java Programming

1 month ago 87.1K views 0 shares

When your object-oriented programming skills finally come in handy at a protest. Someone clearly paid attention in CS class instead of sleeping through encapsulation lectures. The sign brilliantly uses Java's access modifiers to make a statement - keeping gender as a private string variable that can't be modified by outside classes, rather than a public constant boolean that everyone gets to weigh in on. The compiler of this joke deserves a promotion.

The Floor Is Java

Java Programming

1 month ago 90.4K views 0 shares

Remember that childhood game where touching the floor meant instant death? Programmers play the adult version every day. Some climb furniture, others hang from ceiling fixtures, and a few just accept their fate and lie motionless on the couch. Anything to avoid writing another line of verbose, boilerplate Java code that takes 47 classes to print "Hello World." The JVM is coming for us all eventually.

Run Fast From The Java Explosion

Java Programming Backend

2 months ago 82.8K views 0 shares

Just committed the ultimate act of sabotage. Told my buddy to start with Java as their first language and now I'm flying away from the disaster zone like a happy little airplane. It's like handing someone a chainsaw when they asked for a butter knife. Sure, Java's powerful and employable, but watching a newbie wrestle with abstract factory pattern implementations before they understand what a variable is? *chef's kiss* Pure chaos. Could've suggested Python or JavaScript, but where's the fun in that? Some people just want to watch the world burn... or at least watch their friend's enthusiasm evaporate faster than RAM in a memory leak.

Pregnant Struct

C++ Programming

2 months ago 97.8K views 0 shares

So this is how data structures reproduce in the wild. A mystruct gets embedded inside a pregnantstruct , complete with a bool yeah; confirmation. Congratulations, it's a nested object! The compiler will be sending cigars. Just wait until it inherits all those methods—they grow up so fast.

The Scariest Kind Of Programmers

Programming Csharp C++ Algorithms Java

2 months ago 111.0K views 0 shares

The programming paradigm hierarchy in its natural habitat. Object-oriented programmers confidently standing tall, data-oriented programmers clinging to them for support, and return-oriented programmers... well, they've fallen into the bucket and can't get out. Classic case of function returning to the wrong address space. That rabbit's not coming back with a value anytime soon.

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