Functional programming Memes

Posts tagged with Functional programming

Yo Dawg, I Heard You Like Filters

Yo Dawg, I Heard You Like Filters
I see we've discovered the elusive "filterception" in the wild. Some brilliant mind decided to filter the filters with a filter that filters filters. And they even helpfully commented "// filter" at the end – you know, in case the five other instances of "filter" weren't clear enough. This is the coding equivalent of saying "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" and expecting it to make sense. Somewhere, a code reviewer is staring at their screen, questioning their career choices.

Python Is A Lisp

Python Is A Lisp
OH. MY. GOD. What unholy abomination have we summoned here?! 😱 Some deranged soul decided to write the most NEEDLESSLY COMPLEX lambda function to calculate a mean when they could've just used sum(x)/len(x) ! The audacity! The DRAMA! This is what happens when a Python developer discovers functional programming and decides to BETRAY EVERYTHING Python stands for. It's like watching someone use a nuclear warhead to kill a spider! Whoever wrote this code deserves to be sentenced to maintaining COBOL applications for all eternity!

Regression

Regression
When your coworker discovers Kotlin's idiomatic syntax for the first time and their brain just short-circuits ! That code at the bottom is the programming equivalent of someone smashing their face on a keyboard while screaming internally. The chaotic nesting of curly braces, random question marks, and bizarre method chaining is what happens when you try to be too clever with Kotlin's features. It's like watching someone discover guitar pedal effects for the first time – suddenly EVERYTHING needs distortion! 🎸πŸ’₯

Traditional For Wins Sometimes

Traditional For Wins Sometimes
The eternal battle between fancy modern streams and good ol' for loops! Sure, streams can filter, map, and reduce with the elegance of a ballet dancer, but try debugging that one-liner that spans three monitors. Meanwhile, traditional for loops are just sitting there like "Yeah, I might not be the cool kid anymore, but at least you know exactly which iteration exploded your production server at 3 AM." Sometimes you don't need a Ferrari when a reliable Toyota with an actual dashboard will get you there without the existential crisis of atomized variables.

Array Dot Reverse Have Sealed Your Fate Brendan Eich

Array Dot Reverse Have Sealed Your Fate Brendan Eich
This meme is hitting JavaScript developers right where it hurts! The title "Array.reverse Have Sealed Your Fate Brendan Eich" is a direct callout to the creator of JavaScript himself. The cardinal sin being mocked here is writing methods that mutate the original array AND return the same instance - like our beloved villain Array.reverse() . It's the programming equivalent of changing someone's furniture around while they're in the bathroom and then gaslighting them about it. Pure functions? Never heard of her. These mutating methods are why senior devs wake up in cold sweats at 3 AM screaming "IMMUTABILITY!" before checking their git history. Even God himself (or at least a cartoon deity with an impressive beard) has reserved a special place in programmer hell for the perpetrators. Not just regular hell - the boiler room. Where they'll probably be forced to debug Internet Explorer compatibility issues for eternity.