Average Java Hater Experience

Content Started a new career as a Data Scientist recently. After years as a Java developer, it feels like a breath of fresh air. I now use Python. rProgrammerHumor always has memes about how slow it is at runtime. It can't be that bad, right? I write a Jupyter notebook to analyse some company data. Once I finish and run it, it takes 20 minutes to iterate through 11,000 rows of data. That was just the testing data, now I need to iterate over the actual data which has 400,000 rows.

Content Me, a CJavaC developer typing in intStringdouble char in Python and having a red line appear under them: WHERE ARE THEY?!?!

Content You shouldn't use ' true' in conditions, since it is equivalent to simply writing 'X'. Um, actually in JavaScript ' ' is truthy while ' true' is false.

Content Computer programming Kat Maddox ctrIshifti v me: why isn't this working? normal languages: you screwed up over here me: oh thanks me: why isn't this working? javascript: me: please i'm begging you javascript: 9:40 AM Aug 18, 2020 Twitter Web App

Content Senior Software Developer TRISTAR, Remote 2 weeks ago Java, C, C Full Time Fo Depends on Experience Travel not required AH FINALLY SHARP SHARPER

This meme is basically the programming language version of a high school yearbook's "Most Likely To..." section, except it's brutally honest. Rust gets labeled "The fan favorite" because its zealous community will literally evangelize Rust at your grandmother's funeral if given the chance. Java as "Made to be hated" is just *chef's kiss* - a verbose language that forces you to create seventeen factory classes just to print "Hello World". Python as "The hot one" is spot on. Everyone wants to date Python these days, especially those AI folks who can't stop sliding into its DMs. C being "The only normal person" is that one friend who's been reliably showing up since the 70s without drama. Visual Studio (C#/.NET) gets "Uhh...what's your name again?" because Microsoft rebrands it every 37 minutes. PHP as "The gremlin" is perfect - it powers half the internet but everyone pretends they don't use it, like that weird cousin nobody mentions at family gatherings. C++ with "Mmm...society" is that pretentious intellectual who thinks they're too complex for mere mortals to understand. JavaScript being "Just straight up evil" is the universal truth that binds all developers together, like complaining about meetings. And COBOL getting "No screen time. All the plot relevance" is that ancient banking system quietly holding the entire financial world together while Gen Z developers argue about which new framework is cooler.