The Password Time Machine

The sweet taste of victory after Git warfare. That moment when you've spent 14 hours resolving merge conflicts across 10 branches spanning 3 repositories, each with its own unique naming convention and commit style. Your eyes are bloodshot, you've consumed dangerous amounts of caffeine, and your terminal history is just a long list of increasingly desperate git commands. And yet somehow—against all odds—the build passes, the tests run, and that glorious new version is now live in production. No alarms. No rollbacks. Just sweet, sweet redemption as you emerge from the trenches of version control hell. Time to take a shower. You've earned it.

Look at these American cloud giants getting the Toy Story treatment. After years of Stockholm syndrome relationships with AWS, Google Cloud, and Azure, European dev teams are finally having their "Jessie moment." Nothing says "I've reconsidered our toxic relationship" like migrating to Hetzner after your AWS bill suddenly includes a 25% tariff surcharge. Sure, the documentation might be in German, but it's still more comprehensible than Lambda's pricing structure. Scaleway doesn't have 47 different database options? Good. I didn't understand the difference between the last 46 anyway.

The heroic tale of saving an entire company from certain doom... by hitting git reset --hard HEAD~1 and pretending you're a genius. The corporate equivalent of turning it off and on again, but with more dramatic flair and a significantly larger bonus check.

First panel: Developers screaming at git rebase like it's some kind of monster. Second panel: Violently attacking it anyway because the team lead said so. Third panel: Reluctantly doing a pull rebase because there's no other choice. Fourth panel: That weird dopamine hit when your commit history is suddenly all clean and linear instead of looking like spaghetti thrown at a wall. Fun fact: The average developer spends 43% of their career avoiding rebases until they finally try it once and become insufferable evangelists about it.

Someone asks what's the difference between Git and GitHub, and gets a technically accurate yet wildly inappropriate analogy. The answer has 124 upvotes because developers appreciate both version control and questionable metaphors. The real tragedy is that 91% upvoted the original question instead of just typing it into a search engine.

The most satisfying commit message you'll ever write: "Deleted 2,000 lines of legacy code." Somehow removing code feels more productive than writing it. The real 10x developers aren't the ones cranking out features—they're the ones brave enough to hit delete on that monstrosity everyone's been afraid to touch since 2017. Negative lines of code should be on your performance review.