Merged Into Kingdom Branch

Ah yes, the sacred GitHub portfolio tour. "And here's my revolutionary weather app that checks if it's raining... and over here, my groundbreaking to-do list with exactly three commits." Nothing says "hire me" like 47 repositories of unfinished projects with names like "test123" and "new-framework-tutorial." The digital equivalent of showing off a hat collection, except the hats are all half-knitted and abandoned after watching the first 20 minutes of a YouTube tutorial.

A dollar bill with "IN GOD WE TRUST" modified to read "IN GIT WE TRUST." Because let's face it, version control is the only thing standing between us and complete chaos. Your code might be worthless, but at least Git remembers what it looked like when it actually worked three commits ago. The true religion of developers isn't coffee or Stack Overflow—it's the ability to blame someone else via git blame.

Ah yes, the peak of developer romance - naming a Git branch after your crush. While musicians get to immortalize their muses in heartfelt ballads, we programmers are stuck with feature/sarah-reminded-me-to-fix-this-bug . Nothing says "I'm thinking about you" quite like burying someone's name in a temporary code branch that'll be merged and forgotten faster than that relationship will last. The true poetry of our time is clearly found in pull request comments.

Treating yourself like a software project is peak developer energy. While everyone else is promising to hit the gym, this guy's posting a changelog for himself like he just pushed to production. The real joke is thinking any of those bugs will actually get fixed before next December's emergency hotfix. At least he didn't label it "various performance improvements" which we all know means "I broke something but can't figure out what."

The duality of modern coding life. First panel: "OMG, GitHub Copilot is free in VS Code?!" *frantically puts on glasses to see clearly* Second panel: "Wait... my code is free for GitHub Copilot?" *realization sets in* Remember when we used to worry about other devs stealing our code? Now we're feeding the AI overlords our precious algorithms so they can regurgitate them to junior devs who'll get paid more than us. The circle of tech life, folks.

OMG! The absolute AUDACITY of this so-called "BLACKHATHACKER0802" who can't even compile a basic project! 💀 The irony is just TOO MUCH to handle! There they are, username screaming "I'M A DANGEROUS HACKER" while simultaneously begging strangers on GitHub: "Any One Can Help Me How To Build This Project.." It's like showing up to a bank heist with a water gun and asking the security guard how to open the vault. The cherry on top? Someone replied with "black hat hacker 0802" with the clown emoji. DEVASTATING! This is what happens when you skip the "how to compile" tutorial and go straight to "how to hack the Pentagon." 🤦‍♀️