Buying Games > Playing Games

Ah, the classic game dev shower routine. First, you think you're being clever by enabling that fancy water particle system. "Just call GetWet() and we're good to go!" Then reality hits you like a bucket of cold NULL pointers. The NullReferenceException is basically Unity's way of saying "you forgot to actually put water in the shower before turning it on, genius." It's the digital equivalent of standing naked in an empty shower stall wondering why you're still dry. Seven years of game development experience and I still make this rookie mistake at least twice a week. Who needs actual cleanliness when you can just debug water physics until 4AM?

Ah, the true gamer flex. Amateurs brag about their 60fps experience, but real pros know it's not about having a high frame rate—it's about being able to dominate at any frame rate. Whether you're running at a buttery smooth 600fps or a slideshow-worthy 6fps, your opponents are still getting absolutely wrecked. The hardware doesn't make the player; the player makes the hardware cry.

Remember when developers were optimization wizards who could cram entire games into kilobytes? Now we've got frameworks that need a small data center just to print "Hello World." The left doge is the chad programmer of '96 flexing on fitting Pokémon Red into a mere 512kB cartridge—an actual miracle of code efficiency. Meanwhile, modern devs (right doge) are having existential crises because their JavaScript framework with 237 dependencies needs a gigabyte of RAM to display two words on a screen. Progress!

The one-person army known as "indie game developer" in their natural habitat. While AAA studios have entire departments for each role, indie devs are sitting there with name tags for Producer, Director, Actor, Editor, Writer, and Creative... because that's just Tuesday morning before coffee. The other 37 job titles didn't fit on the table. Budget? What budget? Sleep schedule? Never heard of her. But hey, at least no one can reject your pull requests when you're the entire git history.

Ah yes, the ancient stone tablet IDE. Because nothing says "I'm a serious developer" like carving your collision detection algorithms into limestone. Modern IDEs with their "syntax highlighting" and "error detection" are clearly for the weak. Real programmers chisel their bugs directly into rock so they're permanent, just like their technical debt.

The eternal game engine wars continue! This dev has clearly switched allegiances from Unity to Godot, and isn't shy about declaring it. Can't blame them after Unity's pricing fiasco last year that sent devs running for the exits. Godot swooped in as the free, open-source alternative and suddenly everyone's new best friend. Nothing says "I've evolved as a developer" quite like dramatically announcing your game engine breakup on social media. The relationship status is definitely "it's complicated" with Unity these days.