If You Can Dream It You Can Do It

Every developer's internal reaction when a non-technical friend starts with "I've got an app idea." The threatening pose perfectly captures that mix of dread and irritation we feel when someone's about to pitch their "revolutionary" app that's basically "Uber but for hamsters" or "Facebook but people are nice." What they don't realize is they're the 500th person to think they're the first to come up with it, and no, we don't want to build it for free in exchange for "exposure" or a mythical 2% equity that'll totally make us rich someday.

Oh. My. GOD. You just HAD to say "HTML is a programming language," didn't you? The ULTIMATE tech world civil war starter! 💀 Watch as hordes of computer science purists DRAMATICALLY clutch their mechanical keyboards while screeching "It's a MARKUP language, you absolute heathen!" Meanwhile, front-end devs are in the corner having existential crises because apparently their entire career is built on a LIE. The internet has NEVER known peace since this debate began. Friendships shattered. Stack Overflow threads locked. Conference rooms burned to the ground. And you're just standing there with that smug little smile, watching the world burn!

Ah, the classic university group project where the professor says "find a team" but you're the only one who shows up to class. So you become the entire development stack, changing hairstyles between commits just to make it look like you had help. Nothing says "collaborative learning experience" like having a dissociative identity disorder induced by a looming deadline.

The eternal struggle of inbox management just got real. That truncated email subject "How IT Can Leverage Anal..." is the perfect storm of unfortunate word breaks that haunts every tech professional. The universe conspires to make corporate communications as awkward as possible—right at the moment your boss walks by your screen. Somewhere, a product manager is wondering why open rates for this newsletter suddenly skyrocketed by 300%. Pro tip: this is why you should always preview your email subjects on mobile devices first!

This conversation is what happens when you skip the "boring" security lectures in CS class. Our green-text hero thinks decrypting password hashes is just another Tuesday feature request, while orange-text is having an existential crisis trying to explain one-way functions. The best part? Five years of development experience and still wondering why we can't just hand out passwords like candy. That final "I can look it up anytime" after completely misunderstanding basic cryptography is peak developer confidence without competence. This is why your bank account gets hacked, folks. Because somewhere out there, a dev is thinking "who cares if you have the decryption algorithm" while building your financial app. Bruh indeed.

Shopify exec just casually ending the careers of countless "idea people" who've spent years perfecting the phrase "I'll get the devs to build that." Somewhere, a PM is frantically Googling "how to code hello world" while sweating through their Patagonia vest. The ultimate "put up or shut up" moment for those who've been drawing boxes on whiteboards and calling it "product vision."