If You Can Dream It You Can Do It

Start 'em young, they said. Gotta love those job listings demanding a decade of experience with technologies that have only existed for five years. This baby's already behind schedule! Should've mastered React in the womb and deployed a blockchain solution during naptime. At this rate, the poor kid will only have 18 years of experience by 20 - clearly unemployable by industry standards. Next week: "Python for Fetuses" and "Docker Containerization Before You Can Walk."

Normal humans: peacefully asleep at 4am. Software engineers: laptop in one hand, beer in the other, hair looking like it's been through a merge conflict, casually dropping "So anyway, I started coding" at ungodly hours. The nocturnal programming ritual isn't a choice—it's when the bugs are quieter and Stack Overflow answers seem more profound. That beer isn't for enjoyment; it's compile-time fuel for those moments when your algorithm finally works and you have no idea why.

Ah yes, the indie hacker paradox. Building that revolutionary SaaS app that will "disrupt the industry" while simultaneously avoiding anything resembling actual employment. The dream isn't to work—it's to create a passive income stream so you can post beach laptop photos on Twitter while your Stripe notifications fund your avocado toast. Six months later, you're still "pre-revenue" but have strong opinions about VC funding.

Developers: "I hate PHP! Get that thing out of my face!" Also developers: *aggressively consumes Laravel, a PHP framework* Five minutes later: *quietly making money with the very thing they claimed to despise* The circle of developer life: loudly hating technologies while secretly using them to pay the bills. The dollar signs don't lie.

Microsoft Edge is basically the digital equivalent of that clingy ex who refuses to accept it's over. The meme shows the Edge logo photoshopped onto a character emerging from imprisonment, screaming "After ten thousand years, I'm free!" - which is exactly what Edge does every time you accidentally click its icon. Windows keeps it buried deep in the system, just waiting for that misclick so it can launch itself, set itself as default, and remind you about "better battery performance" like some desperate used car salesman. The only thing missing is Edge asking if you've thought about its feelings lately.

Well, that explains why my doctor keeps asking if I've been "exposed to HTML" during checkups. And here I thought my code was just dirty because of poor indentation. The real kicker? These are the same people who'll confidently tell you they "know computers" before asking you to fix their printer. This is why we can't have nice things in tech - 10% of the population thinks we're spreading disease by writing <div> tags. Next time someone asks what I do for a living, I'm just going to say "I work at McDonald's." Safer that way.