Can't Even Hate On Nvidia For This One

The irony of technology evolution in one image. In 2005, FireWire was this sleek, compact connector that made USB look like a clumsy dinosaur. Fast forward to 2025 (in this alternate timeline), and apparently FireWire decided to transform into what looks like the power supply for a small nuclear reactor. It's giving strong "I need to connect my computer to the space station" vibes. Somewhere, a hardware engineer is looking at this and thinking, "Yes, but can we add MORE pins?" Because clearly, what we all want is a connector that requires a building permit to install.

You know you've reached peak programmer enlightenment when someone asks you to "go deeper" and you're already writing raw machine code. Like, what's next? Flipping transistors by hand? Communicating directly with electrons using telepathy? For context: machine code is literally the lowest level you can go—it's pure binary instructions that the CPU executes directly. Below that is just physics and existential crisis. So when you're already at rock bottom and someone wants you to dig deeper, you might as well grab a shovel and start mining for silicon. The only way to go deeper from machine code is to become one with the hardware itself. Maybe start manually setting voltage levels on the motherboard? Or perhaps rewrite the laws of quantum mechanics? Good luck with that.

Nothing says "planned obsolescence" quite like Nvidia casually yeeting perfectly good GPUs into the abyss. These RTX 50-series cards barely had time to collect dust before Nvidia decided they're done supporting them. Classic tech giant move—drop support faster than you can say "driver update." For developers and ML engineers who just dropped a kidney's worth of cash on these cards, watching Nvidia toss them aside like yesterday's garbage hits different. You're still paying off the credit card, and they're already pretending your hardware doesn't exist. The Toy Story format captures that exact moment when you realize your expensive hardware investment just became a very pricey paperweight. Woody's desperate plea perfectly mirrors every dev's internal screaming when their production server's GPU suddenly becomes unsupported legacy hardware.

The eternal struggle of hardware compatibility continues! AMD's Ryzen 9000 series processors are getting absolutely body-slammed by ASRock motherboards in what can only be described as premeditated silicon homicide. For the uninitiated, ASRock has a... let's call it "colorful history" with AMD chipset compatibility. Just when you think your shiny new CPU will play nice with your existing motherboard, surprise! Your boot sequence transforms into an expensive paperweight simulator. The thumbs-up kid is every hardware reviewer who gets paid to build these systems while the rest of us mortals cry over our BIOS update failures.

Ah, the classic Nvidia business strategy presented through Gru's plan meme! First panel: "Let's release the 5000 series with zero performance gains!" *confident face* Second panel: "Then update drivers to deliberately cripple older cards!" *still confident* Third panel: "Cause crashes across our entire GPU lineup!" *wait, what?* Fourth panel: *realizes* "CAUSE CRASHES ACROSS OUR ENTIRE GPU LINEUP?!" *horrified face* Nothing says "we're passionate about gaming" quite like sabotaging your own hardware ecosystem! At this point, gamers are just Stockholm syndrome victims with RGB lighting.

Nothing says "trust our technology" like NVIDIA's CEO casually pondering our AI-driven extinction while selling the very hardware that'll power it. "Hey, we might all die horribly, but at least we'll die on cutting-edge NVIDIA architecture!" Talk about the ultimate sales pitch. The tech industry has gone from "our product will change your life" to "our product might end all life, but look how efficiently it'll do it!" That 80% GPU market share will be super comforting when Skynet becomes self-aware.