Who's Gonna Tell Him

Oh, the ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY of programming languages! 💀 C makes you hate Object-Oriented Programming because WHO NEEDS ORGANIZATION when you can have pure CHAOS?! Python's performance is slower than my grandmother's dial-up internet! Java's memory management is like having a roommate who keeps buying furniture but NEVER THROWS ANYTHING AWAY! C++ will literally SHOOT YOUR LEG OFF with pointer errors and memory leaks! And CSS? Can't even finish the word "CONSISTENCY" because IT DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS! The audacity of these languages to make us suffer while we pretend to be professional developers! 😭

Ah, the classic "let's hardcode every single IP address instead of using a regex or CIDR notation" approach. Nothing says "I learned to code from a cereal box" quite like writing 254 if statements when if (ipaddress.startsWith('1.1.1.')) { return 0; } would do the trick. This is the kind of code that makes senior devs develop eye twitches and sudden interests in early retirement.

Content Vishal Y VishalMalvi Problem in your personal life? Choose a career as a software developer. No personal life, no problems.

So someone decided to create an AWS Lambda that calls itself recursively without a timeout limit. That's not a bug, that's a financial suicide note. Lambda functions have a 15-minute max execution timeout for a reason—to protect you from yourself. But forget to set it? Congrats, you just created an infinite loop that'll keep spawning new instances until your AWS bill looks like a phone number. The best part? AWS won't stop you. They'll just keep charging while your function enthusiastically calls itself into oblivion like an ouroboros made of JSON and regret.

When you're vibing with terrible code quality, writing nested callbacks six levels deep, zero error handling, and variable names like "x1" and "temp2"... and suddenly your commit counter hits 3251. Nothing says "professional software engineer" quite like watching your crime against computer science get immortalized in git history. The code may be garbage, but hey, at least you're consistently producing garbage. That's what they call velocity in Agile, right?

Nothing destroys your financial stability quite like AWS charging you by the millisecond for that cursor blinking on your EC2 instance. One minute you're debugging, the next you're selling your kidney on the black market because you forgot to terminate that "unlimited" resource. The cloud doesn't rain money—it vacuums it directly from your bank account. Next time just stick to Notepad++ like a reasonable poverty-avoiding human.