Type Shit My Code Be Doing

Content Me looking at the bugs that my colleagues pointed out in my pull request

Remember when video games were just... fun? Before you became a programmer and couldn't help but see the collision detection glitches, frame rate issues, and spaghetti code lurking beneath the surface? Now you're sitting there calculating the physics equations they used for that jump animation, mentally optimizing their render pipeline, and thinking "that NPC pathfinding algorithm must be A* with a custom heuristic." The curse of knowledge strikes again. You've peeked behind the curtain, and now you can't unsee the matrix. Gaming will never be the same, but hey—at least you can impress absolutely nobody by explaining why that texture is flickering.

Ah yes, the ancient stone tablet IDE. Because nothing says "I'm a serious developer" like carving your collision detection algorithms into limestone. Modern IDEs with their "syntax highlighting" and "error detection" are clearly for the weak. Real programmers chisel their bugs directly into rock so they're permanent, just like their technical debt.

Who needs clean code when you can just feel it? Developers rejecting structured programming in favor of the vastly superior method of just vibing with the codebase. Sure, your code might be an incomprehensible mess that makes future maintainers contemplate a career change, but at least it has soul . The commit message? "It works, don't ask how."

C++ shows up with perfect makeup - powerful, precise, but requires meticulous attention. Python's just casually biting its lip - easy to use but sometimes frustratingly inconsistent. Ruby's doing that subtle pout - elegant syntax that makes you feel clever until you try to scale. And then there's Visual Basic... that pained grimace says everything about maintaining legacy VB code at 3 AM when the production server crashes. The facial expressions are more accurate than any language documentation I've ever read.

Content When your mom keeps telling everyone that you're a programmer and you can fix their computerprinter