The Three-Minute Victory Lap

Content Yo lets just compile this 2000 line code I Just wrote Runs Without Errors Warnings First Time

Oh sweetie, you think debugging is a SKILL? *flips hair dramatically* Senior devs don't need fancy tools or hours of painful searching. We were literally PRESENT at the crime scene when the atrocious code was birthed into this cruel world! We've watched in horror as each line of that monstrosity was typed, knowing EXACTLY which part would eventually bring the entire system crashing down like my will to live during a Monday morning stand-up. It's not experience, darling - it's TRAUMA with a LinkedIn endorsement.

Content Programmers Stop using print statement as debugging tool OR draw 25

Content API calls to an HTTPS service HTTP domains Mixed Content: This request has been blocked, the content must be served over HIPS domains

The bravest developer suddenly turns into a quivering mess when faced with pair programming and code reviews. Nothing strikes fear into the heart of a programmer quite like having someone watch them type if (isTrue = true) instead of if (isTrue == true) in real-time. The silent judgment. The awkward pauses. The sudden inability to remember how to write a for loop you've written 500 times before. Even the most confident coder transforms into a sweaty, keyboard-fumbling disaster when another human witnesses their thought process.

Content Top 20 Replies by Programmers when their programs don't work.. 20. That's weird. 19. It's never done that before. 18. It worked yesterday. 17. How is that possible? 16. It must be a hardware problem. 15. What did you type in wrong to get it to crash? 14. There has to be something funky in your data 13. I haven't touched that module in weeks! 12. You must have the wrong version. 11. It's just some unlucky coincidence. 10. I can't test everything! 9. THIS can't be the source of THAT. 8. It works, but it hasn't been tested. 7. Somebody must have changed my code. 6. Did you check for a virus on your system? 5. Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel? 4. You can't use that version on your system. 3. Why do you want to do it that way? 2. Where were you when the program blew up? 1. It works on my machine.