The Three-Minute Victory Lap

That smug little face says it all. You ask a simple yes/no question and instead of a clean true or false , they hit you with "I'll think about it" or some other useless string response. It's like asking someone if they want pizza and they respond with their entire life story. Boolean functions should return boolean values—it's literally in the name! But no, some developers just love to watch the world burn by returning strings like "maybe" or "undefined" when all you wanted was a straightforward answer. Then you're stuck with extra validation code because apparently if(isUserLoggedIn()) wasn't simple enough.

The eternal struggle between product managers and developers, perfectly captured in police interrogation form. PM: "Why can't we just change it?" - the magical "just" that transforms 80 hours of work into a seemingly simple task. Meanwhile, the developer is speaking an ancient dialect of Technical Consequences that PMs physically cannot understand. The tech lead and manager are stuck in the middle, desperately trying to translate "this will break everything we've built since 2018" into "business impact terminology." It's like watching someone ask "why can't we just move this load-bearing wall?" while the architect has a silent panic attack.

Content Every Programmer: "Do what I WANT you to do, not what I TELL you to do!"

Oh man, that awkward handshake moment when your boss is congratulating you for "optimizing" code that YOU originally broke! 😅 When you're the arsonist and the firefighter, but only get credit for the firefighting part. Classic dev move - break something so badly that when you fix it to be slightly better than your broken version, everyone thinks you're a genius! The internal screaming while accepting praise for solving a problem you created is peak programmer energy. Honestly, it's basically a career advancement strategy at this point!

Content Knowing how to write "Hello World" and calling yourself 'dev' Having 20 years of experience but still keeping quiet to avoid fixing printers

Content I DISCOVERED A HOLE IN OUR INTER- NET SECURITY. WHAT? ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT MY JOB. BUT ILL INFORM OUR NETWORK MANAGE- MENT GROUP. GOOD GRIEF MANI HOW COULO YOU PUT A HOLE IN OUR INTERNET? PASSING THE BUCK!!! YOU'RE A BUCK PASSER!!! I DION T PUT IT THERE. .AND: NOT.. FORGET ITI THERE'S NO HOLE! IT GOT BETTER! THATS MORE LIKE ITS YOUR JOB TO FIX THAT HOLE. WANT YOU TO WORK 24- 7 I FIXED THE INTERNET.