The Four Horsemen Of Developer Excuses

Content christina zhu cszhu if you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. true happiness comes from removing 100 Print Statements after solving an obscure programming bug, not from someone else 15:35 21 Feb. 20 Twitter Web App

Content WHEN YOU TRY RUBBER DUCKING TO DEBUG YOUR CODE BUT ALL THE DUCKS WANT TO TALK ABOUT ARE YOUR EMOTIONAL ISSUES AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FATHER.

Looking at hieroglyphics and thinking "this seems more intuitive than regex" is the most developer thing ever. Eight years into coding and I still have to pull up a cheat sheet every time I need to match anything more complex than an email address. And even then, I'm just copying someone else's pattern that probably has three edge cases I'll discover in production.

The holy wars over brace styles (Allman vs K&R) have raged for decades, but this... this is something else entirely. The code has braces on separate lines, same lines, random indentation, and what appears to be a permutation algorithm that's been formatted by someone who's clearly given up on life. It's like watching someone code with their elbows while having an existential crisis. The inconsistent spacing and alignment is what happens when you've been debugging for 16 hours straight and your soul has left your body. Remember kids, code style might be subjective, but there's a special place in hell for whoever wrote this abomination. Your IDE's auto-formatter is your friend, not your enemy.

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Look at this absolute LEGEND with his fancy holographic interfaces! The audacity of developers who write code based on ~vibes~ rather than documentation! Just sitting there, hands behind head, basking in the glow of their chaotic creation like "Yeah, I have NO IDEA why it works, but it does, so don't touch it." The rest of us mere mortals are over here debugging with print statements while this majestic creature is coding by FEELING THE ENERGY of the universe. The ultimate "it works on my machine" final boss!