The Programmer's Hierarchy Of Excuses

The eternal battle of truth vs. convenience! StackOverflow tells you you're wrong even when you're right, while ChatGPT cheerfully agrees with your most horrific code abominations. One will crush your soul with brutal honesty, the other will happily help you implement a sorting algorithm using 17 nested for-loops. Choose your poison: harsh reality or comforting lies. The best developers know to trust neither—just steal code from both and pray it works in production.

Ah, the classic "locally running fine-tuned model" joke that perfectly skewers both tech bros and Nvidia's marketing department in one fell swoop. This is riffing on how Nvidia has been aggressively pushing AI capabilities in everything from gaming to dating. The tweet satirizes the absurd endpoint of this trend – where even your romantic partners need to be running on local hardware to be "legitimate." As someone who's watched GPU prices skyrocket while marketing slides get increasingly unhinged, I feel this in my empty wallet. Next they'll be selling us RTX 5090s with "girlfriend-ready ray tracing" for the low price of your firstborn child.

The double standard of AI acceptance is painfully real. Write code with AI? The dev community collectively snores. Generate a slightly wonky sunset image? Suddenly everyone's a digital art critic with opinions stronger than their coffee. The tech world's selective outrage meter is basically: AI-generated code that powers critical infrastructure: Meh, whatever works AI-generated art with one too many fingers: CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY! Meanwhile, artists are in the corner watching their jobs evaporate while developers keep telling themselves "AI just helps me code faster" as it quietly writes their entire authentication system.

The Grim Reaper of programming trends is making his rounds! First, he slaughtered Visual Programming (drag-and-drop interfaces), then butchered No-Code platforms (the "anyone can code" fantasy), and now he's knocking on "Vibe Coding" – whatever the hell that is. Probably some AI-generated garbage where you just describe your mood and it spits out broken code. Meanwhile, actual programmers are just watching this parade of buzzwords die one by one. The industry keeps trying to "disrupt" us out of jobs, but can't even get past "Hello World" without a stack overflow and three existential crises. Spoiler alert: The next door is "Quantum Emotional Programming" where your code only works if you're feeling particularly anxious on a Tuesday.

The modern "full stack" - three AI tabs open in your browser while you pretend to know what you're doing. Remember when being full stack meant actually knowing multiple languages and frameworks? Now it's just knowing which AI to ask for which problem. "Yes, I'm proficient in Claude, ChatGPT, and Perplexity" should be the new line on resumes. The only stack that matters is the stack of browser tabs helping you fake your way through that ticket your PM swore was "just a small change."

The eternal standoff between designers and programmers has entered the AI era. Designers look horrified when programmers use LLMs to generate UIs, while programmers give the same judgmental side-eye when designers use AI to generate code. It's like watching two people who can't swim criticizing each other's diving form. Neither result will compile correctly, but both sides will spend hours explaining why the other's approach is worse.