The Four Horsemen Of A Dev's Apocalypse

Content 10 WAYS TO TROLL YOUR DEVELOPER 1: CHANGE ALL CONSOLE SETTINGS TO BLACK ON BLACK. STRANGE.. NO DEBUG PRINTOUTS 2: HAVE THEM FIX OLD CODE. 3: REQUIRE IT TO WORK ON ALL PLATFORMS. IT WILL HAVE TO RUN ON IOS, ANDROID, WINDOWS PHONE AND THIS ROTARY FROM 1931. 4: HIRE UNQUALIFIED DEVELOPERS. CHAD WILLBE DOING UI. :DISREGARD ANY NEED FOPTESTING A TESTING PHASE (ISN'T REALLY IN THE BUDGET. IT'S JUST GONNA HAVE TO WORK B 6: REQUIRE IT TO WORK FOR ALL USER GROUPS. MR. NIBBLES SAID ITS VERY UNINTUITIVE. MEOW. 7: POP YOUR HEAD IN EVERY FIVE MINUTES TO BOND OVER YOUR STUPID COWORKERS SHARON USES A QUESTION MARK WHEN SHE GOOGLES A QUESTION. ! 8: BLOCK ALL ACCESS TO STACK OVERFLOW. NOW, NOW, NO CHEATIN VELD 9: MAKE ALL TASKS TOP PRIORIT THE DATABASE NEEDS TO BE UP AND RUNNING ASAP, AS WELL AS THE AUDIO ENGINE, CRITICAL AND ALSO 3D BUTTON SHADING. 10:ASK A DEV TO 'FIX YOUR COMPUTER' MR. NIBBLES WAS WATCHING GOOD WIFE AND SUDDENLY THIS BLOC THINGY CAME 70 re War and Peas

Content Unfortunately, Microsoft has added a clever new "feature" to Internet Explorer. If the text of an error's message is "too small", specifically less than 512 bytes, Internet Explorer returns - its own error message. You can turn that off, but it's pretty tricky to find switch called "smart error messages". That means, of course, - chat short error messages are censored by deraucc. IIS always returns error messages that are long enough to make Internet Explorer happy. The workaround is pretty simple: pad the error message with a big comment like this to push it over the five hundred and twelve bytes minimum. Of course, that's exactly what you're reading right now. body html

Content OTHER PROGRAMMERS US ME THEIR CODE from dataRow1 in formReportDataTable.Asnumerable( on dataRow1("FormI0) equals dataRow2( "ObjectIO) from resultRow in tempResult.DefaultifEmpty (drFormsCaregory) from resultRow? in tempResult2.DefaultIfEmpty0 join CategoryAow in deCategories-AsEnunerable. on (Guid) resultRow"CategoryID" equals (Guid)CategoryRow(IO) into tempResult 3 FormI0 " (dataRows a nUll I dataRon (Rornio") (dataRowd as null ll datoRowd("Formilane") MY CODE if ( 'barkl); ? THEIR QUESTIONS What is the good RMSE (root-mean-square-error) value range to justify the efficiency of multivariate linear regression model? Asked today Viewed 3 times MY QUESTIONS How do you type the upside down q? Asked today Viewed 254 times THEIR ERRORS MY ERRORS Error List entire Solution 1 Error A 2 Wamings Descriotion ( CS1002 You forgot the semicolon again. Idiot. CO168 The variable e is declared but never used CS0168 The variable e1' is declared but never used DESMAN

Content oscherler JavaScript makes me want to flip the table and say "Fuck this shit", but I can never be sure what "this" refers to. 7:03 AM Oct 30. 2015 Twitterrific for Mac 1.2K Retweets 1.3K Likes

HONEY, GRAB THE CHECKBOOK! This absolute MONSTER of a legacy code generator is being sold to us by a man in a suit! *dramatically faints* The car salesman is literally SLAPPING THE ROOF and promising us 50+ lines of legacy code PER SECOND! Do you know what that means?! That's approximately 4.3 MILLION lines of technical debt PER DAY! The maintenance nightmare of my DREAMS! 💸💸💸 And look at those logos - it's a blockchain-ethereum-something developer tool that will absolutely ruin our codebase faster than you can say "we should refactor this someday." SOLD!

The eternal programmer's confession! Writing documentation is like going to the dentist—nobody wants to do it until the pain becomes unbearable. The only time most of us actually document our code is when we've written something so convoluted that even we can't decipher it two days later. It's basically leaving cryptic notes for our future selves who will inevitably curse our past selves. The circle of programming life!