The Cache Strikes Again

Content YOU HAVE PROBLEMS IN PRODUCTION I HAVE PROBLEMS BEING PRODUCTIVE WE'RE NOT THE SAME

Content friend: why are you laughing? me: "your won't get it" 403 404 40 ProdrammerHumor.io

Content Get Better At Programming The Errors you do make are harder to find Make Fewer Errors The Errors you do make are harder to find

The duality of programmer perfectionism is a beautiful thing to behold. Top left: spending 47 hours meticulously organizing virtual factories in Factorio with conveyor belts that would make Marie Kondo weep tears of joy. Top right: obsessing over system architecture diagrams until your eyes bleed because "IT MUST BE PERFECT." Meanwhile, bottom left: the actual code you're paid to write has security so weak it might as well be a "Please Don't Hack Me" sticky note. Password literally hardcoded as "Password"? *chef's kiss* Bottom right: villain from a silent film declaring "MY JOB HERE IS DONE" because hey, it compiles and passes that one test you wrote! The optimization is clearly happening in all the wrong places. But the code runs in production, so... ship it!

Content university professor: "name your variables carefully" me 3 months later: text.text text

The fresh-faced junior dev who believed the lie that "oncall isn't too bad" has clearly been transformed into a shell of his former self. Those promised "runbooks" for another team's systems? Yeah, they're either wildly outdated or just a single README file saying "good luck!" This is what happens when you're woken up at 3AM by cryptic alerts for systems you've never seen before, while the senior devs who actually built the monstrosity are peacefully sleeping with their phones on silent. The only documentation? A Confluence page last updated in 2019 that just says "TODO: finish documentation".