Shenanigans

The programming community's favorite pastime: creating yet another language nobody asked for! Imagine taking JavaScript's type coercion, PHP's inconsistent naming conventions, C++'s memory management, Python's GIL, and Java's verbosity—then mashing them into one horrific Frankenstein's monster of a language. The compiler would generate 200 warnings just to print "Hello World" and the documentation would be written exclusively in regex. The only thing more terrifying than using this language would be explaining it during a job interview.

Content Ethan White ethanwhite 8 yo: We're learning to make websites at school. Me: Awesome, are you using Google Sites or something. 8 yo opens a text editor and types in 6 valid lines of html. Me: 8 yo: Dad, why are you crying? 03.04.18, 01:02 6'991 Retweets 36.1K Likes

Content Mom, can we have No TheNs ? Mom, can we have No The b at home. ? at home: Mom, can we have No TIMes ? No. There is No. There is at home. at home. at home: Mom, can we have ? No. There is at home. at home: at home: Stack overflow

Python developers looking at pointers like they've been handed instructions in ancient Sumerian. "Memory address? We don't do that here." Python abstracts away memory management so thoroughly that asking a Python dev about pointers is like asking a fish about bicycle maintenance. They've heard rumors such things exist in the C/C++ wilderness, but they've been living in garbage-collected luxury for too long to remember the details.

The eternal machine learning love triangle! Your relationship with TensorFlow was going just fine until PyTorch walked by with those sleek dynamic computation graphs and intuitive Python interface. Now you're doing that awkward neck-twist of betrayal while TensorFlow catches you eyeing PyTorch's hot new features. The static graph never felt so... static. Let's be honest, we've all mentally cheated on our ML frameworks. It's not you, TensorFlow, it's your verbose API and that whole session management thing.

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a Base setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print('?xml version"1.0" encodina"UTF-8" ?'. "In"):?