Tech Support: The Dating App Nobody Asked For

When your operating system manual casually transitions from "Having Children" to "Watching Your Children Die" in the process management section, you know you're dealing with some dark humor. The meme brilliantly plays on the parallel between human relationships and computer processes. In Unix/Linux systems, a parent process "forks" to create child processes, and sometimes has to "kill" them or watch them "die" when they misbehave. That section on "Killing Yourself" is just process termination, but out of context? Pure psychopath energy. No wonder developers stare blankly into the void sometimes—we're just following the documentation.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute HORROR of what this junior dev just confessed! 😱 Changing your Git config to impersonate your senior devs and then pushing a bug to production?! That's not just coding crime—that's a full-blown IDENTITY THEFT CATASTROPHE! This poor soul thought they were just being clever, but they've basically committed the developer equivalent of framing someone for MURDER. The senior dev's face says it all—pure existential panic because guess who's getting blamed when everything crashes and burns? NOT THE INNOCENT-LOOKING CULPRIT! This is why we can't have nice things in software development. Trust? DESTROYED. Career? POSSIBLY OVER. Code review processes? CLEARLY NONEXISTENT!

Content The six steps of debugging: 1) That can't happen. 2) That doesn't happen on my machine. 3) That shouldn't happen. 4) Why does that happen? 5) Oh, I see. 6) How did that ever work? Yesterday I reached step 6

The English language is basically what happens when you copy-paste code without understanding it. Just like how "-ough" words refuse to follow any consistent pronunciation pattern (through, cough, though, rough, bough), your codebase becomes a linguistic nightmare after the 17th StackOverflow snippet. The compiler somehow makes it work, but nobody—including you—can explain why. It's technical debt with a dictionary.

Content 1 1, 2 SyntaxError: it looks like '' was never closed

Content Judging Coworker for the error, I recently stopped making