Strange Standards

Content Write code The tests fail Write more tests to narrow down the problem Write tests The tests fail Those tests pass The bug was in the test

Content Tyler Glaiel TylerGlaiel V imagine being the developer who has to wake up to this bug report PSA: Pokemon SwordShield causes Roku devices on the same network to crash and enter a boot loop 11:19 AM 111719 Twitter Web App 1,675 Retweets 4,928 Likes 17

Content How to fix any computer Windows Step I Reboot Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step a Format hard drive, Reinstall Windows Lose all your fies. Quietly weep. Apple Step I Take it to an Apple store Did that fix it? Nor Proceed to step a Step a Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account Quietly weep. Linux Step h Learn to code in C Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again: Switch dietros. Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giant beard Blame Sun Microsysters. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hygiene. Write a regular expression that would make other programmers cry blood. Learn to code in Java. Recompile the kernel again (but this time while wearing your lucky socks). Did that fix it? Nor Proceed to step a Step a Revert back to using Windows or a Mac. Quietly weep

That moment of pure existential horror when you spot the intern casually connecting to your production database through some sketchy website you've never seen before. The same database that powers your entire company. The same database that took you three all-nighters to optimize last month. And they're just... clicking around. Exploring. Writing queries . Without a WHERE clause in sight. Your soul leaves your body as you realize they have admin privileges somehow. You're not even mad—you're just impressed at how quickly they've found a way to bypass all seven layers of security you implemented.

Content Failure is not an option

The eternal cosmic joke of programming! Your code doesn't work? You spend HOURS debugging, questioning your entire existence, wondering if you should've become a sheep farmer instead. Then suddenly—IT WORKS! But instead of celebrating, you're sitting there, squinting suspiciously at your screen, utterly OFFENDED that it's functioning without explanation! THE AUDACITY of code to work mysteriously is the greatest betrayal known to developer-kind. No closure. No answers. Just the haunting question that will follow you into your dreams: WHY???