Strange Standards

Content 2 Beginner me searching for solutions on stack overflow to fix my code Professional me searching for solutions on stack overflow to fix my code

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of modern development! 😭 You start with ONE measly problem that's driving you insane. Then your sleep-deprived brain thinks, "ChatGPT will save me!" But PLOT TWIST! Now you're drowning in a sea of strawberry-themed errors because ChatGPT decided to hallucinate an entire fruit salad of solutions! Is it "strawberry" or "strawbery" or "strawberrrrrry"?! WHO KNOWS ANYMORE?! The AI doesn't! And now instead of fixing one problem, you're questioning your entire career choice while debugging AI-generated code that's about as reliable as a chocolate teapot. The circle of developer suffering is COMPLETE!

The duality of programmer perfectionism is a beautiful thing to behold. Top left: spending 47 hours meticulously organizing virtual factories in Factorio with conveyor belts that would make Marie Kondo weep tears of joy. Top right: obsessing over system architecture diagrams until your eyes bleed because "IT MUST BE PERFECT." Meanwhile, bottom left: the actual code you're paid to write has security so weak it might as well be a "Please Don't Hack Me" sticky note. Password literally hardcoded as "Password"? *chef's kiss* Bottom right: villain from a silent film declaring "MY JOB HERE IS DONE" because hey, it compiles and passes that one test you wrote! The optimization is clearly happening in all the wrong places. But the code runs in production, so... ship it!

Content Just because I'm a programmer doesn't mean I can fix your printer I can fix it COTi I mean. CONT But not because I'm a programmer

The duality of a programmer's existence in one perfect Simpsons meme. When I'm reviewing someone else's garbage fire of a codebase, I transform into some kind of optimization wizard—spotting inefficiencies, refactoring opportunities, and architectural flaws with laser precision. "Just use a hash map instead of that nested loop, you animal!" But when it's time to write my own code? Suddenly I'm staring at a blank editor like it's written in hieroglyphics. My brain just... stops. That brilliant algorithm I had in the shower? Gone. That elegant solution? Vanished. Just me, my impostor syndrome, and a blinking cursor judging my existence.

The function loops through ALL USERS to find one with matching credentials instead of using a proper query. The comment is the chef's kiss: "This only works because there are not many users." It's like saying "my car doesn't need brakes because I don't drive fast." Bonus security nightmare: they're storing password hashes but comparing them directly instead of hashing the input password first. This authentication is basically a time bomb wrapped in spaghetti code!