One Pushup Per Error: The Ultimate Developer Workout Plan

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of pushing code on Friday! 💅 That smiling face walking away from the NUCLEAR EXPLOSION that is the production server?! That's the face of someone who just dropped a ticking time bomb and is now skipping off to weekend margaritas while the on-call team's phones MELT INTO OBLIVION! It's the ultimate "not my problem anymore" energy that only comes from either COMPLETE PSYCHOPATHY or your literal last day at the company. The production server is basically SCREAMING IN AGONY while this monster casually strolls away like they didn't just commit a war crime against DevOps!

Content Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacados get six They had avacodos

Content Trying Stuff Until it Works Turning Coffee Into Code It Depends The Definitive Guide ORLY? Getting it to Work Blaming the Architecture Copying and Pasting from Stack Overflow Quality Assurance Good Enough to Ship O riY? Arbitrary Forecasts Rationalizing Awful Hackjob Hype Driven Development Life on the Bandwagon Getting an Arduino LED to Blink ORLY? Excuses for Not Writing Documentation ); DROP TABLE animals;-- ExDert Hoping Nobody Hacks You Trivial Details Buzzword-first Design Exiting Vim wring code that Nobody Else Can Reac O RLY Expert Pretending to Know About Stuff Adulting Deleting Code Keeping the Whole App in Your Head Nodding Along Coding on the Weekend Not Writing Unit Tests ORIY' Googling the Error Message "Temporary Workarounds

Content CATALIN PIT 9 catalinmpit V Divide 2020 by 5 and you get 404. Essentially this year is an error message. Maybe that explains why the world stopped functioning properly this year. Someone pick this Jira ticket and fix the bugs, please?

Content PEOPLE WHO DEBUG AFTER A LINE OF CODE PEOPLE WHO DERUG AFTER A BLOCK OF CODE PEOPLE WHO DERUG AFTER CODING ENTIRE APPLICATION

The eternal QA nightmare in joke form! A QA engineer's job is to break things by testing edge cases—zero beers, integer overflow (9999999999), negative values, random objects (lizard?), and gibberish strings. But the real kicker? After all that meticulous testing, the app still catastrophically fails on the simplest real-world scenario. It's basically the software development equivalent of preparing for a zombie apocalypse but then dying from a paper cut. The universe's way of saying "you missed a spot" in the most dramatic fashion possible.