How I Fix Stuff Working In IT

Behold the great decline of our noble profession. We went from muscle-bound legends who wrote code without AI crutches and built entire games in Assembly (because apparently pain is character-building) to modern keyboard jockeys who can't center a div without consulting Google for the 47th time today. The golden age programmer fixed memory leaks by hand, while we're over here begging ChatGPT to fix our syntax errors like it's our personal code therapist. And let's not forget the programmer trapped in Vim since 2018 because :q! is apparently harder to remember than differential calculus. The final insult? We fix one bug and create three more. It's not a development cycle, it's a pyramid scheme.

Oh. My. GOD! The AUDACITY of Python dependency hell! 😱 You have TWO choices in life: somehow get your Python app running without the universe imploding OR just draw 25 cards and accept your fate like the rest of us mere mortals! Virtual environments were SUPPOSED to save us from this nightmare, but here we are, drowning in a sea of conflicting packages while frantically Googling "why is my pip install broken" for the 47th time today. The whole "it works on my machine" saga has evolved into "it works in my SPECIFIC venv with THESE EXACT versions created under a FULL MOON while STANDING ON ONE LEG." Just look at that face of resignation. That's the face of someone who's accepted that they'll be installing and uninstalling packages until retirement age. We've all been there, honey! 💅

Content This is Bill Bill is not a Computer Scince major When Bill meet anyone who is CS major Bill did not ask them to fix his computer. Bill is smart Be like Bill

Content Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you're also the murderer.

Content libreddit-ndk.so - Hide stuff in native library! Nobody can ever read native code, no matter how simple! Put a dummy parameter in the calls from the Kotlin code so people will think something deep is going on: KeyUtil.decryptSigningKey("a0c1e177d7afd4faaaee14f6ef712917c576a33dccd7381c63fed3312658bd8"); Actually always returns "8c7abaa5f905f70400c81bf3a1a10175f72101041991f0c5240aa80c4d99d" string JavacomredditauthcommonutilKeyUtildecryptSigningKey(JNIEnvenv,jclassunused,jstringfakeandunused) char keystr (char )malloc(66) ; Malloc? It's just 66 bytes, use a local variable, stupid. for(int i 0; i 65; i) keystri mapkeyill; A substitution cipher.. height of cryptography in the year 300 BC. keystr 65 0; Null-terminate the string return env-NewStringUTF(env, keystr); Native memory allocations aren't garbage-collected, idiots, you need to call free() Now you're leaking memory on every single API request! String parameter is ignored, always returns "s3ybk2jbEg4BmxQqvqgXoGs3AOUHUH8y" On the Kotlin side we just change a few chars at the start and end of the dummy string: KevUtil. decryptiphyApKey( "uty893a3d7af d4faaaee14f6ef712917c576a33dccd7381c63fed331scukko8" ); surely nobody will notice the 'encrypted' parameters are remarkably similar: jstring Javacomreddit mediacommonapikeys KeyutildecryptGiphyApiKey (JNIEnv env, jclass unused, jstring fake and unused) char keystr (char )malloc (34); Again with the same stupidity for (int i 0; i 33; i) keystri giphymapgiphykeyi; keystr33 0; return env-NewStringUTF(env, keystr); Again the same bug. ProdrammerHumor.io

Content Almost made fun of an electrician today like "is it an electrician's guild rule that you have to perform 5 minutes of ritual complaining about What Was The Previous Electrician Thinking before you're allowed to fix anything?" but then I remembered I'm a software engineer