When Mom Reviews Your Code

Ever wondered why your laptop fans sound like they're preparing for liftoff? Look no further than your node_modules folder! While your actual code might be a svelte stormtrooper, those dependencies are an absolute unit that would make the Death Star blush. 500 lines of your code somehow requires 500MB of someone else's code. And heaven forbid you run npm install on a weak WiFi connection – you could literally go make a sandwich, watch a Star Wars trilogy, and come back to find it still downloading the "essential" packages needed to center a div.

Content

Content ONCE MADE AN OBVIOUS PHISHING EMAIL AND THE MALICIOUS URL WAS IN THE "REPORT PHISHING BUTTON I ADDED

Content lam not a programmer at all, but I once had to use a scripting program to automate a task at work. My co-workers complained that they didn't know how much was left and wanted a bar. So, I added a loading bar that automatically started at 30, and then every 5 seconds split the remaining and added it on (capping at 99 until done). So: 30, 65 (100-3070; 702 35; 30 (original) 35 65), 82, 91, 96, 98, 99, 99.. After that they loved it. Idiots.

Left-handed developers watching right-handed developers use keyboard shortcuts be like... 😑 When you're coding with your sinister hand and realize all the ergonomic keyboard shortcuts (Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V) require finger gymnastics that would make a contortionist quit. Meanwhile, right-handed folks are copying and pasting with the efficiency of a factory robot. No wonder 10% of programmers have contemplated learning Vim just to rebind those keys to something that doesn't require dislocating three fingers simultaneously!

Gaming companies: "Our new console does 8K gaming!" Developers opening Photoshop: "No." Marketing promises vs technical reality - the eternal struggle of hardware capabilities versus what software can actually deliver. The Photoshop logo in the corner is the silent admission that those fancy screenshots were, in fact, enhanced.