Don't Touch It If It Works

The AUDACITY of these IDEs! You create a variable with your own two hands, your fingers still warm from typing it, and this silicon-based TRAITOR has the nerve to throw a warning that you're not using it? EXCUSE ME?! I literally just birthed this variable into existence 0.03 seconds ago! What do you want from me?! A formal introduction? A five-year plan for its usage? Should I write it a college recommendation letter too?! I'm coding at the speed of thought here—my brain is already seven functions ahead while this digital backseat driver is questioning my life choices. The compiler and I are basically in a toxic relationship at this point.

Content Visual Studio: There's unreachable code Me: Removes the code App: Crashes Me: hmm

Content christina zhu cszhu if you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. true happiness comes from closing 100 chrome tabs after solving an obscure programming bug, not from someone else 15:35 21 Feb. 20 Twitter Web App

Content IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED BY A PROGRAMMER in THe BEGINNiNg, THERE WAS THE HEAVEN AND THE EarTH BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION BY toggl AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS NoT GOOD. THEN YOU SAID "LET TherE BE LIGHT! BUT THE LIGHT Did NOT COMPILE. On THE SECOND DAY, YOU MERGE WATER YOU CREATE A HACK SO THAT LIGHT IS PART THE LANC TO CREATE DARKNESS, YoU NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, BUT THAT'S OK CAUSE CREATURES WONT BE ADDED UNTIL LATER. AND STACKOVERFLOW SAID IT'S FINE MINED BUT BECAUSE OF THE DEPENDENCY, LIGHT BREAKS AS IS ACCIDENTALL' LAND FLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW (IN THE DARKNESS) IT's thE thirD DaY. YOU TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE TURNS OUT THE CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUT BROWSER USING COOKIES, THERE'S NO LAND WITHOUT WHICH UNFORTUNATELY NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER MAKES THEM MORTAL BUT THE CLIENT FORGOT TO LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE MENTION THAT WATER. IT'S THE FOURTH DAY. YOU DECIDE TO USE C YOU ALSO USE STL TO CREATE A BALLOON TURNS OUT THE ISSUES FOR ABSTRACTIONS AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT WERE CAUSED BY THE WITH COMPLICATIONS FLAT EARTH DESIGN WHATSOEVER! DANGLING POINTE IT'S ThE FIFTH daY YOU START ADDING PEOPLE TO HELP You. YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS, WHICH IS A MISTAKE LEFT -PAD. REACT REACT THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS, FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES (FUCKIT.JS' ON The SIXTH DAY YOU LOOk AT THE CHAOS YOU CREATED YOU ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE PROGRAMMING, BUT IT IS TOO LATE - EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES HORIZON DAYTIMEAIR.JS SEA.JS REALISTIC WAVES.JS BETTERBANKS.JS BASE.JS ON THE SEVENTH DAY YOU REALLY WANT TO REST, BUT YOU NEED To ORGANISE ALL You've CREATE GO TOGGL. COM

The philosophical horror of maintaining legacy code summarized perfectly. What starts as a quick ticket to "just fix one small bug" turns into an existential crisis when you realize the code was written by someone who left the company 8 years ago and apparently coded while having a stroke. Soon you're the one staring back from the void, muttering "it works, don't touch it" to the next poor soul. Nietzsche would've been a great tech lead. He'd understand why we add comments like "// Don't delete this or everything breaks. I don't know why."

Content GOT A DIFFERENT ERROR PROGRESS