Copy-Paste Betrayal: The Tutorial Paradox

Content Davin DriveThrough bug fix hall of fame Racing Q Removed an ancient legacy piece of code that provided roughly a 1 in 1,000,000 chance of catastrophic engine failure at any time for no reason. 10:20 PM Mar 4, 2024 1.4M Views ili View post engagements 100 17 2.8K 19K PRIME

Boolean questions should return TRUE or FALSE. That's it. No debate. No explanation. Just binary logic. But then there's that one colleague who responds with "Well, it depends..." and proceeds to write a novel-length string response that could've been a simple yes/no. The worst part? You're still parsing their answer three coffee refills later, trying to figure out if they meant true or false. It's like asking "Is this variable null?" and getting back the entire Git commit history since 2015.

JavaScript developers dealing with so many bugs they've evolved into superhuman debugging machines. When your code is 90% workarounds and 10% actual features, you either cry or get absolutely ripped from carrying the technical debt. No wonder the guy can't afford a shirt – spent all his money on protein and Stack Overflow premium.

The hierarchy of unhinged individuals has been established. Serial killers? Scary. Psychopaths? Terrifying. But the true monsters among us? Those developers who somehow write 1000+ lines in Notepad—no syntax highlighting, no autocomplete, no Stack Overflow lifeline—and the damn thing compiles perfectly on the first try. It's like watching someone solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded while reciting pi to 100 digits. Not natural. Not human. I've been coding for 15 years and still can't write a simple for-loop without checking the syntax three times. These people aren't programmers—they're eldritch horrors masquerading in human skin.

Oh, the TRAGEDY of code amnesia! 😩 You write this MASTERPIECE of logic at 3 AM, fueled by nothing but energy drinks and sheer determination. Your brain and the divine forces of the universe are the ONLY witnesses to your genius. Fast forward two weeks later, and you're staring at your own creation like it's written in hieroglyphics from another dimension! Even the CAT knows you're doomed! That moment when your past self has BETRAYED your future self by not leaving a SINGLE comment. Now you're stuck in documentation purgatory, and your only hope is a séance to contact your former, more enlightened self!

The eighth circle of hell isn't fire and brimstone—it's debugging someone else's PHP code without documentation. Forcing trespassers to untangle nested if-statements and figure out why everything is both a string and not a string simultaneously is just cruel. Geneva convention violation right there. The perfect punishment for those who ignore boundaries, both physical and programmatic.