At This Rate I Will Be Able To Retire By Friday

Content Client reports segfault They provide the input I can replicate the crash on my hardware It's is in the cryptography library

Content SOFTWARE ENGINEER CHEAT SHEET Source:TheCooperReview.com It's a non-trivial amount of work I won't be able to copy and paste This is a temporary This is a permanent solution solution lIl be finished by Monday That's funny Do you want it done fast or do you want it done right? Just file a bug I won't tell you which Monday I literally hate you It will be neither I have no idea what you're saying right now That's an expansion forgot you needed that feature of scope We can't test that We can but we won't I'll just put it behind a flag for now It will never ship I can't realistically estimate that - I don't know how estimates work I don't think users will care about that have dinner reservations at 8 This is an Alpha release It doesn't work This is a Beta release We fixed a lot of bugs but it still doesn't work I'll add that to the I'm hoping you'll forget about it backlog We are focusing on - I'm going to go take a nap high priority fixes only

Ever been deep in debugging hell when a PM leans over your shoulder and says "have you tried restarting it?" That's this meme in a nutshell. The big Spider-Man represents developers actually doing the hard work of tracking down and fixing bugs - you know, the people who understand memory leaks aren't fixed with duct tape. Meanwhile, the tiny Spider-Man is every project manager and designer who's "helping" by suggesting you change the button color or asking if you've checked Stack Overflow. Sure buddy, I'll add that to my Jira backlog right after I finish untangling this spaghetti code someone wrote five years ago and documented with "// magic, don't touch."

Content Write code The tests fail Write more tests to narrow down the problem Write tests The tests fail Those tests pass The bug was in the test

That moment when you change a single line of CSS and suddenly your website looks like it was designed by a toddler with a crayon. "Just gonna adjust this padding by 2px" and boom—your layout transforms into a surprised Pikachu. The beauty of CSS: where "cascading" actually means "catastrophically scrambling stuff." And the best part? You have absolutely no idea which of the 47 overlapping style rules is causing it. Perfection.

The expectation vs reality of programming career progression! First year: bright-eyed, hopeful, thinking you'll build the next billion-dollar app. Fourth year: slightly chubbier, dead inside, realizing you're just fixing the same bugs in legacy code while your IDE slowly consumes your RAM. The title "Made Alot Of Money" is the ultimate ironic cherry on top—because the only thing that's grown is your caffeine tolerance and collection of Stack Overflow bookmarks. The real money was the existential dread we accumulated along the way!