What People See When They Look At My Cursed Code

database sql Code review Cursed code Window-functions Nested-queries Sql-hell Partition-by Subqueries
Databases Programming Debugging Backend
6 hours ago 3,965,250 views 0 shares
What People See When They Look At My Cursed Code
sql-memes, database-memes, cursed-code-memes, code-review-memes, window-functions-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

When your codebase is 99.7% SQL and consists entirely of nested SELECT statements with enough ROW_NUMBER() OVER (PARTITION BY) clauses to make a database administrator weep into their coffee. The sheer terror on that face? That's your code reviewer trying to parse through seven levels of subqueries, each one more cursed than the last. Bonus points for the random VARCHAR to ASC casts scattered throughout like landmines. Someone clearly discovered window functions and decided to make them everyone else's problem. The database engine runs this code. The database engine suffers. We all suffer.

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