Cursed code Memes

Posts tagged with Cursed code

Scratch At Home: C Programmer Edition

Scratch At Home: C Programmer Edition
When your kid wants Scratch (the beginner-friendly block programming language) but you're a C programmer with trust issues and a weird sense of humor. This madlad literally redefined curly braces and brackets with ASCII art, then implemented FizzBuzz with them. It's the programming equivalent of making a sandwich with a chainsaw because "it gets the job done." The worst part? It probably compiles. That's the real horror story here.

When You Ask A Global Variable Where It's Allocated

When You Ask A Global Variable Where It's Allocated
Global variables are the chaotic neutral entities of programming—existing everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. When you interrogate one about its memory allocation, it just stares back with those creepy wolf eyes: "I'm neither stack nor heap but another secret third thing." It's like that roommate who somehow lives in your apartment but never pays rent or shows up on the lease. The memory management gods are watching, and they're judging your life choices.

A Cursed Language Was Born Out Of Nowhere

A Cursed Language Was Born Out Of Nowhere
This is what happens when developers get bored at midnight. Some maniac just casually invented a cursed programming language by combining HTML syntax with kernel-level access and wrapped it in nonsensical tags. The best part? The horrified reaction from their friend who's watching this abomination unfold in real-time. It's like witnessing a car crash in slow motion, but with code. The suggestion to "USE KERNELSCRIPT" at the end is just the chef's kiss of chaotic evil. This is exactly how programming languages nobody asked for are born - in Discord chats at 11:30 PM when someone's brain has officially left the building.

It Works (Somehow)

It Works (Somehow)
The pinnacle of software engineering: a digital clock implementation that would make computer science professors weep. This masterpiece features arrays with missing values, commented out time libraries (because who needs those?), nested loops that would make Dante add another circle to hell, and the iconic comment "//fuck i++" which perfectly captures the developer's spiritual journey. Yet somehow, against all laws of programming and human decency, the output shows a working clock counting from 11:56 to 00:02. It's the coding equivalent of building a rocket with duct tape and prayers—and watching it actually reach orbit.

When Your Python Turtle Summons The Ring

When Your Python Turtle Summons The Ring
Someone discovered the perfect way to summon the ghost from The Ring using Python. Just create an infinite loop of a turtle drawing negative circles, and you've got yourself a cursed hallway experience. The perfect code for when you want your programming assignments to be literally haunted. Next sprint I'm definitely adding this to our legacy codebase - the junior devs already look terrified enough.

This Works Don't Worry About It

This Works Don't Worry About It
Ah yes, the classic "assign string values to boolean variables and then use them in boolean expressions" approach. Nothing like setting true = "false" and false = "true" to ensure your future self has a mental breakdown during debugging. The condition if(true/false==false/true) is just *chef's kiss* - comparing divisions of strings masquerading as booleans. And that true = false + false line? String concatenation disguised as addition in a boolean context. Whoever wrote this probably also enjoys putting pineapple on pizza and using spaces instead of tabs.

Showing My Friend My Foolproof Parse Int Method

Showing My Friend My Foolproof Parse Int Method
The eternal struggle between doing things right and doing things that work. Instead of using parseInt() or Number() like a civilized developer, this mad genius is just removing the quotation marks with replaceAll() to convert a string to a number. It's the coding equivalent of using a hammer to screw in a lightbulb - horrifying yet somehow it works. The face on the left is every senior dev witnessing this crime against programming humanity, while the face on the right is the junior who's just proud they "solved" the problem without reading the docs.

Just Because You Could Doesn't Mean You Should

Just Because You Could Doesn't Mean You Should
Oh the beautiful abomination of mixing Python with C++ syntax! This code is the programming equivalent of putting pineapple on pizza AND dipping it in chocolate sauce. The madlad imported iostream in Python and then used C++'s cout << syntax inside a Python function. The most cursed part? It actually works! The terminal shows the output "Hello" because Python's flexible import system let this crime against nature run successfully. This is what happens when you know too many languages and decide to play god with syntax. Your code reviewer is probably having a seizure right now.

Recipe For Disaster

Recipe For Disaster
Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should . This code is the programming equivalent of naming your twins "Twin1" and "Twin2" then wondering why they need therapy. Using keywords as variable names, declaring const const , setting 5 = 4 , and claiming 2 + 2 === 5 is true? This isn't just cursed code—it's the kind of abomination that makes senior devs wake up in cold sweats. Future maintainers will hunt you down. Not to ask questions, but for revenge.