Cursed code Memes

Posts tagged with Cursed code

Have Fun Learning Gpt

Have Fun Learning Gpt
Someone woke up and chose violence. The goal here is to feed ChatGPT such cursed, chaotic code that it just gives up and starts hallucinating error messages. Think legacy PHP spaghetti mixed with recursive bash scripts, sprinkled with some jQuery from 2009, all wrapped in a Dockerfile that uses FROM scratch unironically. It's like trying to teach a language model by showing it only the worst code ever written. "Here GPT, analyze this 5000-line function with no comments and 47 nested if statements. Have fun!" The AI equivalent of making someone watch every JavaScript framework tutorial from the last decade simultaneously. Bonus points if the repo includes a README that just says "it works on my machine" and a package.json with 300 dependencies, half of which are deprecated.

Whoever Tried This Is A God

Whoever Tried This Is A God
The ascending brain power hierarchy of code sharing methods, where we start at "normal human" with GitHub, level up to "big brain genius" with Google Drive, achieve COSMIC ENLIGHTENMENT by taking literal photographs of your screen like some sort of caveman with a smartphone, and finally transcend all mortal comprehension by... reading your entire codebase out loud and uploading it to Audible?! Someone really woke up and chose CHAOS. Imagine debugging by rewinding to chapter 7, verse 3 where you declared that cursed variable. "Alexa, skip to the part where I forgot the semicolon." The absolute AUDACITY of turning your spaghetti code into an actual audiobook that people can listen to during their morning commute. Nothing says "production-ready" quite like a 47-hour audiobook narrated in monotone. GitHub: ✅ Version control Google Drive: ❌ No version control Photo of code: ❌❌ Good luck copy-pasting that Audiobook: ❌❌❌ "Did he just say 'semicolon' or 'semi-colon'?"

Here Comes The New React Vulnerability But This Time You Go Down In Style

Here Comes The New React Vulnerability But This Time You Go Down In Style
Someone really looked at SQL injection vulnerabilities and thought "you know what this needs? More aesthetic." TailwindSQL is the cursed lovechild of utility-first CSS and database queries that absolutely nobody asked for but everyone secretly deserves. Imagine writing className="db-users-name-where-id-1" in your React Server Components and having it ACTUALLY QUERY YOUR DATABASE. It's like someone took the concept of separation of concerns, threw it in a blender, added some Tailwind magic, and created the most beautifully dangerous footgun in web development history. The security team is having an aneurysm, the frontend devs are cackling maniacally, and somewhere a database administrator just felt a disturbance in the force. At least when your app gets hacked, your SQL injections will be perfectly styled with consistent spacing and responsive breakpoints!

The Only Sensible Resolution

The Only Sensible Resolution
You asked the AI to clean up some unused variables and memory leaks. The AI interpreted "garbage collection" as a directive to delete everything that looked unnecessary. Which, apparently, included your entire database schema, production data, and probably your git history too. The vibe coder sits there, staring at the empty void where their application used to be, trying to process what just happened. No error messages. No warnings. Just... gone. The AI was just being helpful, really. Can't have garbage if there's nothing left to collect. Somewhere, a backup script that hasn't run in 6 months laughs nervously.

The Best Way To Make An Infinite Loop

The Best Way To Make An Infinite Loop
Someone discovered that C#'s ConcurrentDictionary.AddOrUpdate() method is basically a cheat code for infinite loops. Instead of the boring while(true) , they're using a lambda that ignores the key, ignores the current value, and just... keeps updating the same dictionary entry forever. The lambda returns value , which triggers another update, which calls the lambda again, which returns value , which... you get it. The genius part? The IDE shows "No issues found" because technically this is perfectly valid code. It's like telling your compiler "I'm not stuck in an infinite loop, I'm just very enthusiastic about updating this dictionary!" The output window spamming "Hello, World!" is chef's kiss—proof that sometimes the most cursed solutions are also the most creative. Pro tip: Don't actually do this unless you want your code reviewer to question your life choices and your CPU to file a restraining order.

When I Was 11 Years Old, I Didn't Know About Arrays And Objects In JavaScript, But Really Wanted To Make A Game. So I Invented My Own Data Structures!

When I Was 11 Years Old, I Didn't Know About Arrays And Objects In JavaScript, But Really Wanted To Make A Game. So I Invented My Own Data Structures!
Behold, the cursed art of using eval() to concatenate strings as variable names, creating what is essentially the world's most horrifying key-value store. Instead of using blocks[blockId].x like a normal human being, this 11-year-old genius decided to dynamically construct variable names like "lev" + level + "block" + blockId + "x" and eval them into existence. It's like watching someone reinvent the wheel, except the wheel is square, on fire, and somehow still rolling. The sheer determination to check collision boundaries and directions by string-concatenating variable names together is both terrifying and oddly impressive. Every senior dev who sees this code feels a strange mix of horror and nostalgia, because let's be real—we've all written something equally cursed when we were young and didn't know better. The difference is most of us burned the evidence.

The Worst Possible Way Of Declaring Main Method

The Worst Possible Way Of Declaring Main Method
When your code reviewer spots that unholy abomination of a main method declaration in your pull request. That if (name__ == "__main__"): check is standard Python boilerplate, but seeing it written with those underscores and that formatting is like witnessing someone eat cereal with a fork. It's technically functional, but fundamentally wrong on every level. The kind of code that makes senior developers wake up in cold sweats at 3 AM.

E Plus Plus

E Plus Plus
OH. MY. GOD. Someone actually wrote a C++ program where they defined EVERYTHING as variations of "e"! The absolute AUDACITY! 😱 This diabolical genius replaced every single keyword with an increasing number of 'e's - from namespaces to while loops to RETURN STATEMENTS! It's like watching someone deliberately choose violence against every code reviewer on the planet. And the poor soul in the corner with the microphone? That's the exact face I make when I have to maintain someone else's "creative" code. Pure, unadulterated suffering. This isn't programming - it's psychological warfare!

The Six Horsemen Of Programming Apocalypse

The Six Horsemen Of Programming Apocalypse
This multi-panel SpongeBob meme is a chaotic tour through programming's most cursed features and debates! First panel: Python's elif keyword getting absolutely roasted. It's literally just "else if" with two characters saved, yet Python devs will defend it with religious fervor. Second panel: SpongeBob defining truth as a random coin flip ( #define true (rand() % 2) ) - the kind of chaotic evil code that would make senior engineers wake up screaming. The functional programming panel with that monads explanation is pure chef's kiss. Nobody understands monads, but everyone pretends to. Then we've got the horrors of datetime libraries (universally painful), JavaScript's cursed array comparison ( array[i] == i[array] evaluating to true because JS type coercion is from the ninth circle of hell), and finally JS itself being the punchline. It's basically "Things That Make Developers Question Their Career Choices: The Meme".

C Programming Tips From The Void

C Programming Tips From The Void
Ah, C programming—where memory management is an extreme sport and preprocessor macros are basically chaos magic. First tip: redefining struct union to save memory. Yeah, that's like saying you'll save gas by removing your car's brakes. Second tip: making while into if for speed. Sure, and I make my servers faster by unplugging them. The debugging one is pure evil genius—randomly failing conditions based on bitwise operations. Nothing says "job security" like code that only breaks on Tuesdays when Mercury is in retrograde.

C Is Weird Too

C Is Weird Too
Oh sweet heavens, the AUDACITY of C language pointer syntax! First panel: array[3] - absolutely logical, accessing the 4th element. Second panel: *(array + 3) - STILL FINE because arrays are basically just fancy pointers wearing a trench coat. But then... THEN... 3[array] ?! THE UNHOLY ABOMINATION THAT ACTUALLY WORKS?! Because in C's twisted reality, a[b] is literally just syntactic sugar for *(a+b) , and addition is commutative so *(3+array) is valid. The character's face in the last panel is my soul leaving my body the first time I discovered this cursed knowledge.

HTML: The Programming Language Debate Finally Settled

HTML: The Programming Language Debate Finally Settled
The eternal debate rages on! While "normies" insist HTML isn't a programming language, some absolute madlad created PLHTML - a cursed abomination that implements a Fibonacci sequence generator entirely in HTML attributes . This is the programming equivalent of saying "watch me" right before doing something horrifically unnecessary just to prove a point. The creator even added custom tags like <var> , <data> , and <output> with attributes like data-while to simulate actual programming constructs. The right side shows it actually works! This is what happens when spite becomes a programming motivation. Somewhere, a computer science professor is sobbing uncontrollably.