Programming In Jobs Outside IT

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Content Dan Hon hondanhon 17 May 2 types of people - those who think Star Trek: Discovery is dumb and stupid for including a reference to SQL "300 years in the future" think SQL still being used in 300 years is evidence Star Trek is a hard SF a horrifyingly accurate portrayal of the future 60 17 386 1.7K

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Little Timmy tried to be clever by literally injecting SQL into his name to transfer himself from the naughty list to the nice list. Classic Bobby Tables move, but Santa's not running a database—he's running Excel spreadsheets. Multiple interconnected ones. Because apparently the North Pole's IT department peaked in 1995. The joke is that SQL injection attacks only work on actual databases, not on Excel files where Santa probably has formulas like =IF(VLOOKUP(A2,NaughtyList!A:B,2,FALSE)="Naughty","Coal","Toys") spread across 47 different tabs with names like "NaughtyList_FINAL_v3_USE_THIS_ONE.xlsx" Security through obsolescence is undefeated. Sorry Timmy, should've tried a macro virus instead.

Oh honey, the AUDACITY of programmers thinking names are some kind of standardized, well-behaved data! 💅 Names change when people get married, divorced, or just FEEL LIKE IT. They don't follow your precious "first name, last name" format. And sweetie, if you think your system won't encounter Chinese names (or Arabic, Japanese, Korean...), you're living in a fantasy land! And that dictionary of "bad words"? Darling, it's DEFINITELY blocking legitimate names from cultures around the world. Some people literally don't have names! THE HORROR! Welcome to the chaotic hellscape of international name handling - where your beautiful database schema goes to DIE! ✨

Content J Write a sarcastic email "congratulating" a tech CEO for executing layoffs. Subject: Congratulations on your latest accomplishment! Dear Tech CEO, I just wanted to take a moment to extend my sincerest congratulations on your recent success in executing layoffs. It takes a true leader to be able to make the tough decisions, especially when it means sacrificing the livelihoods of hardworking employees who have dedicated their time and effort to the company. It's truly inspiring to see someone in your position prioritize profit over people. I mean, who needs job security and financial stability when you have a booming bottom line, right? I'm sure all of the individuals who were let go will be grateful for the opportunity to improve their skills in the unemployment line. Keep up the great work. I can't wait to see what other brilliant ideas you have in store for the future. Best regards, Your Name