Programming In Jobs Outside IT

The evolution of a database admin's brain from basic monkey to cosmic deity in four easy steps! 🧠 Starts with the primitive "just write SQL queries" stage where you're basically a glorified typist. Then evolves to "use views and indexes" - congratulations, you've discovered fire! 🔥 But the true enlightenment begins at "put all business logic in stored procedures" - suddenly your brain glows with the power of a thousand suns. Database purists are nodding vigorously right now. The final form? Transcending reality itself by letting the database handle EVERYTHING. Who needs application servers when your PostgreSQL instance can become sentient? The database is the application. The database is life.

Oh. My. GAWD. The eternal war between "DAY-tuh" and "DAH-tuh" pronunciation has literally torn apart more dev teams than tabs vs spaces! 💅 The somber figure on the left represents the formal "DAY-tuh" camp, probably learned it in some fancy computer science program. Meanwhile, the absolutely THRIVING individual on the right is living their best "DAH-tuh" life! The pronunciation difference is basically a personality test at this point. Choose your fighter, because apparently how you say this four-letter word is your entire coding identity now! *dramatic hair flip*

SQL proposal! This dev announced his engagement with a perfect database query. SELECT * FROM couples WHERE engaged_date='2024-06-14' AND she_said_yes = TRUE; is basically saying "we're officially in production now." Forget boring Instagram captions—this is peak tech romance. The query even has proper date formatting and boolean logic! Somewhere a database admin is wiping away a tear while muttering "proper syntax... beautiful."

Content MySQL OurSQL.

Content let a "Hello, world!" var a "Hello, world!" Corporate needs you to find the difference between this picture and this picture JS developers They're the same picture

When worlds collide! Tech person sets up friend with data scientist who mentions working in a "warehouse" - but not the kind with forklifts and cardboard boxes. The fashion industry friend immediately dismisses him thinking he's stacking pallets for minimum wage, only to find out he's actually crunching numbers and building models (the data kind, not the runway kind). The perfect illustration of how technical jargon gets completely lost in translation. Guess she was too busy looking for dollar signs to understand that data scientists actually make bank. Her shallow response is basically every tech worker's nightmare dating scenario condensed into one painful screenshot.