Programming In Jobs Outside IT

sql excel vba Legacy-systems Corporate Pragmatic programming Office automation Non-it jobs

Databases Java Programming Python Microsoft

10 days ago 90,865 views 0 shares

Programming In Jobs Outside IT

office-automation-memes, vba-memes, sql-memes, python-memes, java-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

The corporate world's dirty little secret: why learn fancy languages when Excel macros will make you the office wizard? Non-IT folks don't care about your elegant Python algorithms—they just want their spreadsheets to stop crashing. VBA might be the programming equivalent of using a hammer to screw in a nail, but damn if it doesn't get you immediate results while the "real programmers" are still setting up their development environments. SQL queries in Access might make database engineers cry, but nothing says job security like being the only person who can make the ancient accounting system spit out quarterly reports.

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He Paid 44 Billion To Get Dunked On

Databases Security Programming

1 month ago 119.3K views 0 shares

He Paid 44 Billion To Get Dunked On

The ultimate tech billionaire self-own! Elon confidently declares the Social Security database isn't de-duplicated, suggesting massive fraud... only to get absolutely demolished when someone points out he clearly has no idea how government databases work. The cherry on top? The "readers added context" feature on his own platform confirming that yes, the government does indeed use SQL. Nothing quite like spending $44 billion on a platform just so everyone can watch you get publicly schooled on basic database concepts. This is what happens when you skip Database 101 but still think you're qualified to critique government systems. Maybe next time Google "what is MySQL" before tweeting?

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2 years ago 5.0K views 0 shares

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Content Omar Hernandez 3rd Software Developer 18h 4 Follow My mother had a look at my code today and said: "So, your job is about writing text using random English words and symbols in fancy colors? I do not know why you get so well paid for that. That text is not even properly aligned to the left." She would be a very good code reviewer. CEO 5,697 91 comments 49 shares

Oh no, there goes System32

Databases Programming Backend

3 years ago 11.0K views 0 shares

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Content Virus Alert I Hi, I am an Albanian virus but because of poor technology in my country unfortunately I am not able to harm your computer. Please be so kind to delete one of your important files yourself and then forward me to other users. Many thanks for your cooperation! Best regards, Albanian virus Yes No Cancel

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Databases Backend

11 months ago 5.8K views 0 shares

sqlx | sql-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

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Visual Studio apparently reuses the Solitaire code

Databases Programming

3 years ago 8.3K views 0 shares

Visual Studio apparently reuses the Solitaire code | code-memes, visual studio-memes, query-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content Retrieve d of inserted tile record query.Parameters.Add("Id", SqlDbType.Int, 4) .Direction ParameterDirection.Output; con.Open(); query. ExecuteNonQuery (); var test query. Parameters "Id". Value; return 0 tests Co 48 Static members 4 Gs Value () 4 Cs Static members 4 Go Value Me Static members 4 Oh Valuel 1 45 4 0 1 3 4 Veg Static m A G. 4 Un 4 G A Gr 4 Go Value 198 1 95 19 1 93 1 9 1 93 4 93 Staticme 1 9 4 0 4 G D Value (1 4 Cs Static members

I am the IT department

Databases AWS Javascript php Python

2 years ago 29.6K views 0 shares

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Content Giulio Carrara 3rd Software Engineer 1d g Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS - nix system administration - Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer. That's an entire IT department. Yours truly 8,801 391 comments