Friends With Benefits

Junior dev says they'll handle errors. Yoda drops the holy trinity of exception handling: try-catch blocks and the often-forgotten finally clause. That look of existential dread in the last panel? That's the exact moment you realize your "I'll just log it" approach wasn't cutting it. Finally blocks execute regardless of whether exceptions occurred, perfect for cleanup operations like closing database connections or file handles. But let's be honest, most of us remember finally exists only when the code reviewer asks "but what about resource cleanup?"

WHO NEEDS PHOTOSHOP WHEN YOU HAVE C# CONSOLE APPS?! Some absolute MADLAD just recreated the Milad Tower using nothing but console.WriteLine() statements and color changes! That's right - forget your fancy graphics software with their "intuitive interfaces" and "reasonable workflows" - just slam out 500 lines of console output with precise ASCII characters and watch your masterpiece emerge! The sheer AUDACITY of spending hours meticulously crafting this monstrosity instead of just... you know... using literally ANY image editor. This is the programming equivalent of building the Eiffel Tower out of toothpicks when there's a perfectly good 3D printer RIGHT THERE. I'm simultaneously horrified and impressed.

Ah, the classic "checking if a number is even" function written by someone who clearly slept through the modulo operator lesson. Instead of the simple return number % 2 == 0 , this poor soul is writing out every possible case until they presumably die of old age around number 2,147,483,647. This is the programming equivalent of digging a tunnel with a spoon when there's a perfectly good excavator sitting right there. The desperate tweet above the code says it all - there IS an easier way, buddy. There always is.

Someone discovered that C#'s ConcurrentDictionary.AddOrUpdate() method is basically a cheat code for infinite loops. Instead of the boring while(true) , they're using a lambda that ignores the key, ignores the current value, and just... keeps updating the same dictionary entry forever. The lambda returns value , which triggers another update, which calls the lambda again, which returns value , which... you get it. The genius part? The IDE shows "No issues found" because technically this is perfectly valid code. It's like telling your compiler "I'm not stuck in an infinite loop, I'm just very enthusiastic about updating this dictionary!" The output window spamming "Hello, World!" is chef's kiss—proof that sometimes the most cursed solutions are also the most creative. Pro tip: Don't actually do this unless you want your code reviewer to question your life choices and your CPU to file a restraining order.

When Mom asks if you're bringing a girl home for Christmas and you're staring at ISBN barcode validation logic that looks like it was written by someone who gave up on life halfway through. The function checks if a code starts with "978" and throws an exception for "UPCs that might b..." – yeah, that error message got cut off just like your dating prospects. The real tragedy here? Someone is manually calculating ISBN-13 checksums with a for loop and modulo operations instead of using a library. That's the programming equivalent of being asked about your love life while you're debugging legacy code at 2 AM. Both situations scream "this wasn't our year" with equal intensity. Fun fact: ISBN-13 barcodes starting with 978 are book identifiers, which means this developer is probably more familiar with O'Reilly books than actual human interaction. Relatable content right there.

OMG, the AUDACITY of developers who think they're sooooo clever turning a perfectly respectable if-else statement into that one-liner ternary abomination! 💅 Look at Fancy Pooh in his tuxedo thinking he's ROYALTY because he saved three whole lines of code! Meanwhile, the rest of us peasants have to decipher your "elegant" syntax during code reviews. I'm literally DYING at how we all pretend this makes us sophisticated when we're just trying to impress each other with code golf! 🙄