The Artistic FizzBuzz Massacre

Oh, the classic "I'll definitely use getters and setters properly this time" delusion! Every developer swears they'll implement proper encapsulation, then 10 years later realizes they've written exactly zero getters that actually do anything besides return value; . We all pretend we're writing enterprise-grade code that might need validation later, but deep down we know we're just adding extra keystrokes to feel professional. The angry face at the end is just perfect - nothing triggers developer rage quite like being confronted with our own coding hypocrisy.

Ah, the circle of programming life! C gives you the keys to memory kingdom but expects you to be an adult about it. JavaScript is that friend who keeps borrowing money but swears they'll pay you back (narrator: they won't). Java brings JavaScript's problems to your smartwatch, toaster, and 2.99 billion other devices. Meanwhile, Go is the neat freak roommate who follows you around with a dustpan, and Haskell won't even touch memory until you explicitly acknowledge its existence. And then there's Rust, where your strings mysteriously disappear because some function decided "ownership" means "yoink, mine now!" The only thing leaking more than these languages is my will to continue debugging them.

Ah, the classic "I'll mix five languages in seven lines and call it a day" approach! This monstrosity has C++ syntax with iostream and std::cout , but wrapped in Python-style def () function declaration, no parameter names, and curly braces like it's Java or C#. Then there's that mathematical abomination calculating "e" with nested exponents that would make a calculator have an existential crisis. And the cherry on top? Outputting variable x that doesn't even exist while calculating e that's never used. Whoever wrote this clearly graduated from the "chaotic evil" school of programming.

Someone at Microsoft thought writing C code in PowerShell was a brilliant idea. That's like trying to perform brain surgery with a pizza cutter. The tab literally says "PowerShell" but they're writing C code with main() and argc/argv parameters—the terminal equivalent of wearing socks with sandals. Microsoft finally upgrading the default terminal while developers everywhere scream internally at whoever created this promo image. Ten bucks says the person who made this screenshot has "proficient in C++" on their resume but thinks pointers are what you use to click things.

Junior devs just slapping public int x; everywhere and living their best life. Then someone introduces them to encapsulation and suddenly they're writing getters and setters like they just discovered fire. The fancy suit represents that false sense of sophistication you get from following OOP principles—until you realize you've written 20 lines of boilerplate just to access a single integer. You're now "professionally" doing what you used to do in one line, and deep down you're questioning every life choice that led you here. Sometimes the simple solution was fine. But now you're in too deep to go back. Welcome to enterprise development, where we make everything unnecessarily complicated and call it "best practices."

The difference between x -= 1 and x =- 1 is just one space, but the consequences are catastrophic. One decrements a variable, the other assigns negative one and destroys whatever value you were working with. Hours of debugging later, you're staring at your screen wondering why your algorithm produces garbage when the fix was just moving a single character. Spaces matter. Just like your relationship status.