How To Properly Troll Your Developer Friend

The mysterious phenomenon of code quality instantly transforming when someone glances at your screen! One second you're doing pointer arithmetic that would make Linus Torvalds cry, with bitwise operations and hexadecimal values that look like you fell asleep on the keyboard. Then the moment a coworker peeks over—BOOM—your code magically transforms into a pristine if-else statement that even an intern could understand. It's like quantum code: the mere act of being observed collapses all your hacky solutions into clean, readable logic. The programming version of cleaning your room only when guests come over!

The embedded systems world is having a full-blown affair with C/C++ while giving Rust the cold shoulder. Despite Rust's memory safety guarantees and zero-cost abstractions, embedded devs keep crawling back to their toxic exes C and C++. It's like watching someone choose dial-up when fiber is available because "we've always done it this way." The embedded community's relationship status with C/C++ is definitely: "It's complicated" – and by complicated, I mean "refusing to move on despite all the segfaults and buffer overflows."

Top panel shows assembly code with "is0dd" function checking if a number is odd by bitwise operations. Bottom panel shows someone who skipped all that and just lit up LEDs on a breadboard. Why write complex bitwise logic when electricity already knows if a current is odd or even? The universe's physics engine doesn't need your fancy algorithms - electrons have been doing modulo operations since the Big Bang.

The ultimate conspiracy theory has been revealed—programming is just a massive hoax! According to this groundbreaking exposé, we've all been duped. Computers were meant to solve math, not be programmed. C is clearly just a letter in the alphabet that got way too full of itself. And if you need to print something? Grab a pen like a normal human being! My favorite part is the claim that optimizing CPU usage with recursive threaded methods is "nonsensical" and "deranged." Well, excuse me for trying to make my code run 0.02% faster while consuming only 99.8% of available RAM! And the evidence is damning: colored text in terminals, compilation errors, and a teapot you can't even drink from. Clearly, if programming were real, someone would have figured out how to make while(true){print(money);} work by now. Checkmate, developers.

Ah, the classic programmer dichotomy! Top panel: Skeptical SpongeBob reluctantly using a pre-built math library like a normal person. Bottom panel: Maniacally happy SpongeBob diving into advanced mathematics and bitwise operations to build a "sUcKiEr VeRsIoN" from scratch. This is basically every developer who's ever thought "I could write this better" before spending 47 hours reinventing a wheel that's slightly more square than the original. The optimization obsession is real - we'd rather write 500 lines of bit-shifting wizardry than import numpy and call it a day.

When you ask for a 32-bit integer but the judge gives you a signed one. That ~32,768 years sentence is suspiciously close to 2^15, which is exactly what happens when you overflow a signed 16-bit integer. The criminal probably wanted an unsigned int that goes up to 65,535, but instead got the negative range too. Classic rookie mistake. Should've specified the data type in the plea bargain.