All My Homies Hate CMake

The gradual descent into programming madness: First panel: Rust's clean, explicit entry point. Simple. Elegant. Second panel: C/C++'s classic int main(). Familiar territory. Third panel: Python's cryptic "__name__ == '__main__'" check that makes you question your life choices. Fourth panel: The existential crisis that follows when you realize you've been staring at different entry point syntaxes for so long that you've forgotten what sunlight feels like. The four horsemen of "how the hell do I start this program again?"

The classic programmer journey from self-righteousness to self-sabotage in three easy steps: First, you write a verbose, descriptive function name that perfectly documents what it does. You feel virtuous. Clean code! Self-documenting! Then, you realize typing that monstrosity repeatedly is killing your productivity. So you create a wrapper function with a shorter name. Problem solved! Finally, you're faced with your creation in production code: if (cumming()) - and suddenly you remember why code reviews exist. Your future maintainers will either die laughing or hunt you down with pitchforks. And this, friends, is why naming things remains one of the two hardest problems in computer science.

The special kind of hell reserved for C/C++ developers. You spend weeks meticulously crafting code that works flawlessly on your machine, only for it to burst into flames in production because some environment-specific preprocessor directive decided today was a good day to ruin your life. The best part? Your debug build works perfectly, but as soon as you ship to production—surprise! That #ifdef RELEASE section you forgot about just activated like a sleeper agent. And what do we do? Smile through the pain and pretend everything's not on fire. Classic.

The naval mine (C) with all its dangerous spikes has spawned a smaller, arguably more aggressive offspring (C++). Perfect representation of how C++ emerged from C with extra features that can blow up your code in exciting new ways! The parent is already dangerous enough with manual memory management and pointer arithmetic, but the child adds inheritance, templates, and operator overloading to create even more spectacular runtime explosions. Just like these underwater mines, both languages will sink your project if you touch the wrong part.

When philosophers ask if a clone is the same person, programmers swoop in with the actual technical answer. Clone by reference? Same memory address, same person. Clone by value? New memory allocation, different person. Leave it to devs to solve ancient philosophical debates with a one-liner about pointers. This is why we're not invited to dinner parties.

Someone just discovered the increment operator and thinks they're a language polyglot now. The meme shows a guy bragging about using "C++" in JavaScript, but all he's doing is using a standard for loop with c++ as the increment statement. That's like saying you speak French because you can say "croissant" while ordering at Starbucks. The violent reaction in the bottom panel is the only appropriate response to such heresy.