All My Homies Hate CMake

One brave Rust enthusiast standing alone against the massive horde of C and C++ programmers, boldly declaring "Yes, you all are wrong." It's basically the programming language equivalent of bringing a memory-safe knife to a buffer overflow gunfight. The audacity! The sheer confidence of that one Rust dev thinking their fancy ownership model and zero-cost abstractions will convince thousands of battle-hardened pointer-arithmetic veterans who've been manually managing memory since before Rust was a speck of oxidation on Graydon Hoare's keyboard.

Confessing your forbidden love for Python in the programming church? Straight to developer hell! The irony is Python's supposed to be the "pure" language with its clean syntax, yet we're all secretly seduced by its indentation-based structure and one-liners that make other languages look like verbose garbage. The real sin is how productive you become while other devs are still fighting with semicolons and curly braces. Forgiveness not guaranteed from the C++ priesthood.

The compiler just performed the most spectacular magic trick in programming history. We've got a C++ program with an infinite while(1) loop and a function literally named unreachable() that should never execute. Yet somehow, when compiled with optimizations, it spits out "Hello world!" anyway. The compiler optimization flags ( -O1 ) basically said "this infinite loop is useless nonsense" and just... skipped it entirely. It's like your code review comments were taken literally by the universe. That moment when the compiler is smarter than your intentionally broken code is both humbling and hilarious.

Oh. My. GOD. The ABSOLUTE ROYALTY that is a C++ developer after shaving off a microscopic 100 nanoseconds from their code! 👑 They're strutting around like they're literal ARISTOCRACY while everyone else must bow to their optimization genius. Never mind that a nanosecond is one BILLIONTH of a second and no human could possibly perceive this difference. But darling, in the C++ world, those 100 nanoseconds might as well be an ETERNITY! The developer has now earned the right to look down upon the peasants who dare use interpreted languages. *dramatic hair flip*

That moment when your entire career hangs in the balance of a color-coded gauge slowly filling with red. Nothing quite matches the suspense of watching your terminal like it's the season finale of your favorite show. The compilation starts all green and happy, then the yellows creep in, and suddenly you're bargaining with the compiler gods: "Just warnings, please just warnings..." But deep down you know those errors are coming. They always do. It's like watching a horror movie where you're both the victim and the monster who wrote the code.

The perfect response doesn't exi-- When someone asks you to say "hi" in your mother language and you're a C++ developer, there's only one correct answer: a perfectly formatted "Hello World" program. This dev skipped all the pleasantries and went straight for std::cout << "Hi!" << std::endl; because let's face it, semicolons are basically punctuation marks in a programmer's native tongue. The username "Im_Not_GlaDOS" makes it even better - clearly someone who speaks fluent machine but is definitely not a homicidal AI.