All My Homies Hate CMake

Evolution of programmer enlightenment: starts with Python (basic brain), progresses through Java (slightly lit brain), then C++ (glowing brain), followed by Scratch (cosmic brain), and finally... Minecraft command blocks (transcendent alien being). Nothing says "I've reached programming nirvana" like crafting complex algorithms with blocks meant for 10-year-olds. The supreme irony of the programming world: spend years mastering memory management in C++ only to realize the true galaxy-brain move is coding with pictures of cats and literal blocks. If you've ever built a working CPU in Minecraft, you're not a programmer anymore—you're basically a deity. The rest of us mortals will continue pretending our Python scripts are impressive.

When your code has that perfect edge case that makes Schrödinger jealous. Scoring exactly 85% means you've simultaneously failed AND passed according to the logic. The computer's just doing what it was told - executing both conditions because nobody thought to use <= instead of <. This is why we can't have nice things in software development. The compiler doesn't care about your feelings or your GPA.

The eternal rivalry between C/C++ and Rust depicted in its purest form! Two programming languages locked in mortal combat, each convinced the other is the spawn of Satan. C++ devs clutching their manual memory management like it's a security blanket while Rust zealots wave their borrow checker flags from their moral high ground. The compiler wars continue as memory safety fundamentalists and performance purists scream into the void. Meanwhile, Python developers are just chilling with their garbage collector, eating popcorn and watching the bloodbath.

The eternal cycle of developer hubris: "Warnings doesn't matter" says the programmer, bravely ignoring those bright red compiler messages while typing furiously. Fast forward three hours and they're frantically Googling "why is my code not working" while staring at 47 warnings they swore weren't important. The same warnings that are now causing production to catch fire. It's like playing Russian roulette with your codebase, except all chambers are loaded and you're still convinced you'll win somehow.

Ah, the classic "I'll mix five languages in seven lines and call it a day" approach! This monstrosity has C++ syntax with iostream and std::cout , but wrapped in Python-style def () function declaration, no parameter names, and curly braces like it's Java or C#. Then there's that mathematical abomination calculating "e" with nested exponents that would make a calculator have an existential crisis. And the cherry on top? Outputting variable x that doesn't even exist while calculating e that's never used. Whoever wrote this clearly graduated from the "chaotic evil" school of programming.

The ultimate conspiracy theory has been revealed—programming is just a massive hoax! According to this groundbreaking exposé, we've all been duped. Computers were meant to solve math, not be programmed. C is clearly just a letter in the alphabet that got way too full of itself. And if you need to print something? Grab a pen like a normal human being! My favorite part is the claim that optimizing CPU usage with recursive threaded methods is "nonsensical" and "deranged." Well, excuse me for trying to make my code run 0.02% faster while consuming only 99.8% of available RAM! And the evidence is damning: colored text in terminals, compilation errors, and a teapot you can't even drink from. Clearly, if programming were real, someone would have figured out how to make while(true){print(money);} work by now. Checkmate, developers.