This Isn't Normal

Content When your serverless function returns a 500 internal server error Those bastards lied to me PS Express

Remember when you could just... open Paint and draw? Those were simpler times. Now Microsoft wants you to sign in with your Microsoft account just to scribble some pixels on a canvas. It's like needing a passport to use a crayon. The SpongeBob "Caveman" meme format captures the sheer absurdity perfectly—primitive brain trying to comprehend why a 30-year-old bitmap editor that literally just pushes RGB values around needs cloud integration and user authentication. Next thing you know, they'll add AI-powered brush strokes and a subscription tier for the color picker. This is peak modern Microsoft: take something that worked fine since Windows 3.1, "modernize" it by shoving Azure AD authentication down its throat, and call it innovation. Paint used to be 2MB of pure simplicity. Now it probably phones home more than Windows Telemetry.

Cloud migration in a nutshell: Backend service owners clutching their precious code like a hairless cat hoarding gold coins, while completely ignoring those pesky validation steps scattered on the table. "But it works on my machine!" they hiss, as the DevOps team sighs for the 47th time today. The validation steps might as well be invisible—just like documentation and proper error handling. Who needs testing when you've got blind faith and a prayer to the server gods?

You can collect certifications like Pokémon cards—CompTIA A+, BSc, CCNA, AWS, Azure, CEH—but the moment you meet someone who just casually uses Linux daily? Game over. They've probably never touched a certification exam in their life, yet they'll outshoot you every single time when it comes to actual problem-solving. There's something deeply humbling about spending thousands on certs only to watch a sysadmin who learned everything from breaking their Arch install fix your production server in 30 seconds. Certifications get you past HR; Linux experience gets you past Tuesday.

Marketing vs. Reality: The eternal tech industry cycle. "Serverless" still runs on servers. "No code" still requires coding. It's like ordering a "meatless" burger and finding out it's just meat hidden in a different bun. After 15 years in the industry, I've learned that new buzzwords are just old problems wearing trendy hats. The facepalm is the universal gesture of a developer who just deployed their first "serverless" function and discovered they're debugging server configurations at 2 AM.

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