Watch Me Cry When I Cannot Solve The Next One

Ah, nothing says "ready for the job market" like optimizing a drug dealing algorithm during a technical interview. LeetCode has officially jumped the shark with this one. The problem is literally asking you to maximize profits from selling crack to junkies with different budgets. Someone in HR is definitely getting fired today. The funniest part? It's actually just a standard greedy algorithm problem dressed up as a felony. Sort the junkies by willingness to pay, sell to the highest bidders first, and boom—you've optimized your criminal enterprise while demonstrating your CS fundamentals. Ten years of experience just to become a virtual drug kingpin. Computer science degrees are really paying off these days.

Top panel shows assembly code with "is0dd" function checking if a number is odd by bitwise operations. Bottom panel shows someone who skipped all that and just lit up LEDs on a breadboard. Why write complex bitwise logic when electricity already knows if a current is odd or even? The universe's physics engine doesn't need your fancy algorithms - electrons have been doing modulo operations since the Big Bang.

When the genie says "no wishing for more wishes," every programmer knows there's a workaround. This dev just exploited the classic integer overflow vulnerability! By storing wishes in an unsigned 32-bit integer (max value: 4,294,967,295) and then cleverly manipulating the order of operations, they've essentially created an infinite wish glitch. The coup de grâce? Wishing for 0 wishes. Since the subtraction happens after the wish is granted, they'll still have 4,294,967,295 wishes left. The genie's face says it all - outsmarted by someone who clearly debugs race conditions for a living. And this, friends, is why you always validate your inputs and use proper synchronization primitives. Otherwise some smartass in a code review will point out how your entire wish-granting API can be exploited.

Spent four years learning how to reverse a binary tree and now you want me to talk about my "greatest weakness"? The sheer audacity. Tech interviews have evolved into this bizarre ritual where we either solve obscure algorithmic puzzles or bare our souls like it's therapy. The uncomfortable chinchilla face perfectly captures that moment of existential dread when you realize you've practiced LeetCode for weeks but forgot to rehearse basic human interaction. Give me a graph traversal problem any day over explaining "a time I showed leadership" – at least algorithms have documentation.

Ah yes, because every developer's first instinct when seeing "NASA needs to establish lunar time" is thinking: "Finally! A chance to implement datetime.moon and watch it break absolutely everything!" Just imagine the Stack Overflow questions: "Why is my lunar microservice 2.8 seconds behind Earth production?" or "Help! My app shows different times depending on which side of the moon the user is on!" The real fun begins when some junior dev accidentally uses lunar timestamps for Earth transactions and suddenly everyone's Prime delivery is scheduled to arrive in 29.5 Earth days. Classic.

Finally found a practical use for that $50,000 piece of paper - a mousepad. Four years of data structures and algorithms just to create the perfect surface friction for cursor movement. The irony is that the degree probably cost more than the actual computer it's supporting. At least it's not collecting dust in a drawer like my knowledge of binary trees.