We're Doomed: The AI Apprentice Becomes The Master

Ah, the modern tech hero's journey: "I wrote a prompt, AI generated an API, and now I'm basically the next unicorn founder." Sure buddy, and I once wrote a regex that worked on the first try – doesn't mean I'm Jeff Bezos. The gap between "my AI prompt worked once" and "billion-dollar company" is roughly the same as the gap between "I installed Linux" and "I now run NASA." Those compute bills will hit harder than the reality that prompt engineering isn't the same as actually engineering. Ten years in the trenches and I've learned one truth: the harder someone humble-brags about how easy something was, the more spectacularly it'll explode in production.

Ah, Maslow's hierarchy of needs has been updated for the modern developer! Forget food and shelter—we've all collectively decided that affordable GPUs are the foundation of human existence. When your RTX 4090 costs more than your monthly rent, self-actualization becomes irrelevant. How can anyone achieve psychological stability when they're selling kidneys on the black market just to run machine learning models or play Cyberpunk at max settings? The crypto miners and AI boom have spoken—true enlightenment begins with affordable silicon. Everything else is just a luxury.

Oh honey, the AUDACITY of this meme! 💊 The ultimate ego-check for mediocre coders everywhere! You're clutching your pearls because ChatGPT wrote "Hello World" once, and suddenly you're convinced the robot apocalypse is coming for your job?! PLEASE! 🙄 The truly elite developers are too busy crafting algorithmic masterpieces and solving impossible problems to worry about AI stealing their lunch money. Meanwhile, the copy-paste-from-StackOverflow crowd is having a FULL-BLOWN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS because they finally have to face the music that maybe—just MAYBE—their "skills" aren't exactly irreplaceable! Swallow that pill, darling. It's medicine time! 💊

Oh god, this is brilliant. Just imagine all those LinkedIn posts now: "Our new cocaine-powered chatbot will revolutionize customer service!" or "Top 10 ways cocaine will disrupt your industry!" The tech hype cycle and the actual cocaine cycle have the same phases: initial euphoria, inflated expectations, crushing disappointment, and somehow still costing you all your money. The only difference is one crashes after 20 minutes and the other after your next funding round.

The Nobel Committee turning its back on actual computer science to ogle traditional physics is the academic equivalent of your crush ignoring your perfectly engineered app to date someone who can explain why apples fall from trees. Quantum computing? Machine learning breakthroughs? Nah, let's give another medal to someone who found a slightly different way to measure gravity. Meanwhile, the folks revolutionizing how we process information are left swiping through job postings that require "5+ years experience in a framework released last Tuesday."

A clever nod to Apple TV+'s "Severance" where the character's work self ("innie") is separated from their outside self ("outie"). Just like how developers have two personalities: the one who stubbornly refuses AI assistance at home, and the one who secretly lets GitHub Copilot write half their codebase at work. We all have principles until the deadline is tomorrow.