We're Doomed: The AI Apprentice Becomes The Master

The programmer's journey to enlightenment, visualized as expanding brain memes. Starting with the lazy "just ask ChatGPT" approach, then graduating to StackOverflow searches (the industry standard). But true galaxy brains dig deeper—from ancient forum threads to dusty textbooks to ISO standards documents. And for those problems that make you question reality itself? Track down the language creator's hometown for clues, or the nuclear option—talk to his mom. "Yes Mrs. Stroustrup, your son's multiple inheritance implementation is giving me nightmares again." The irony? We've all done the bottom one at 3am when nothing else works. Desperation breeds creativity.

When your CS professor says "implement a sorting algorithm" but you've got an OpenAI API key and zero shame. This dev just created the world's most expensive sorting function by literally asking GPT-4 to be a sorting algorithm! Sure, it works—but imagine burning through API credits to sort [42, 3, 99, 7, 13] when a simple Array.sort() would do the trick. The true innovation here is maximizing both latency AND cost while solving a problem that was figured out decades ago. Congratulations, you've invented O(API) complexity—where the limiting factor is your credit card limit!

Looks like someone's trying to stump ChatGPT with real-world physical tasks. Asking an AI to finish constructing a building is like asking me to fix production bugs without coffee – theoretically possible but practically insane. The construction worker's smug grin says it all – some jobs still require actual hands and a hard hat, not just clever algorithms. No matter how many tokens you feed the model, it's not going to pick up a hammer anytime soon. Next they'll be asking it to fix the office coffee machine or handle those awkward team-building exercises. Some nightmares even AI can't solve.

First panel: Clippy's annoying cousin "Google Meet Assistant" pops up with those dead, soulless eyes asking if you need help analyzing your meeting for the 47th time. Second panel: You frantically close it, thinking you've finally escaped. Third panel: But wait! The AI assistants are multiplying like gremlins fed after midnight. They're everywhere now, asking if you want to "summarize this," "analyze that," or "improve your productivity" while you just want to end the damn call and go make coffee. The digital equivalent of someone asking "how's it going?" when you have headphones on and are clearly trying to avoid human interaction.

The tables have turned! After decades of philosophers being told "good luck finding a job," now they're smugly watching the software industry implode with layoffs, AI replacing entry-level devs, and 300 applicants fighting for each position. That "philosophy factory" joke hits different when you're on your fifth technical assessment for a junior role that requires 7 years of experience in a 3-year-old framework. Maybe Socrates had it right all along—true wisdom is knowing you'll never pass the hiring manager's impossible requirements.

Nothing like the sweet smell of career arbitrage in the morning. Just slap "AI" on your LinkedIn profile and watch your market value triple while recruiters trip over themselves to throw gold bars at you. Meanwhile, you're still running the same SQL queries and data pipelines you were last week, but now you're an "AI visionary" commanding a small fortune. The industry's collective amnesia about what skills actually matter is the gift that keeps on giving. Capitalism at its finest, folks.