We're Doomed: The AI Apprentice Becomes The Master

AI has finally solved the greatest mystery in corporate history: what actually happens in meetings. Turns out it's just "disjointed, rambling conversation" with "no clear purpose or agenda." Revolutionary discovery! Next up: AI discovers water is wet. The best part? We spent an hour discussing "unclear technical concepts" only to have a robot tell us we accomplished absolutely nothing. At least now we have timestamps to prove exactly how long we wasted our lives. Remember when we used to pretend meetings were productive? Now Slack AI is calling us out with receipts. Progress!

Oh, the classic "elephant in the room" problem has evolved into the "elephant in the AI" problem! ChatGPT was asked to create an image with "absolutely no elephants" yet there's a massive pachyderm chilling in the corner like it's paying rent. This is the digital equivalent of a unit test that passes despite the glaring bug. The AI confidently declares "Here's the image of an empty room with absolutely no elephants in it" while the evidence trunk-slaps you in the face. It's like when your code compiles without errors but still manages to crash spectacularly in production.

Ah, "Vibe Coding" – where the only requirement is vibes and absolutely zero coding knowledge. Started as industry satire, now it's an actual 4-week course with a fancy instructor in a green suit promising to make you feel good about not understanding a single line of code. This is like offering "Vibe Surgery" where you just hold a scalpel and manifest healing energy. Next up: "Vibe Engineering" – build bridges with positive affirmations and Instagram filters. The tech industry has officially completed its transformation from "we need skilled engineers" to "just bring your authentic self and we'll figure out how to deploy that to production."

Oh. My. God. The DIABOLICAL GENIUS of tech execs playing 4D chess with our careers! 😱 First, they're all "AI will TOTALLY replace you programmers!" Then suddenly everyone's terrified of learning to code. Supply plummets. Demand stays the same. And BOOM – programmer salaries SKYROCKET to astronomical levels! It's the most beautiful, twisted supply-and-demand manipulation I've ever witnessed. And we're all just pawns in their evil little game! *dramatically faints onto keyboard*

The eternal standoff between designers and programmers has entered the AI era. Designers look horrified when programmers use LLMs to generate UIs, while programmers give the same judgmental side-eye when designers use AI to generate code. It's like watching two people who can't swim criticizing each other's diving form. Neither result will compile correctly, but both sides will spend hours explaining why the other's approach is worse.

The ancient developer ritual: boss announces a new app, teammates immediately suggest AI tools, and the one guy who remembers what programming is gets defenestrated for his troubles. Apparently suggesting actual coding is now a capital offense in tech meetings. What's next, suggesting we read documentation?