Time To Grind Sorting Algo

A classic language war in its natural habitat! Someone makes the bold claim that C/C++ and assembly are unbeatable performance kings, only to be countered by the chaotic suggestion to "google Fortran Tutorial." The third commenter's "Holy hell" perfectly captures that moment when you realize Fortran—that ancient scientific computing language from the 1950s—still outperforms modern languages in numerical computations. It's like watching someone bring a calculator to a smartphone fight and somehow win. The real punchline? All three comments have exactly 1 point each. Nobody's winning this war.

Functional programming purists have gone too far! While we're all using CONST to make variables immutable, Haskell folks are over here with their monads, currying, and type signatures that look like hieroglyphics from an alien civilization. The beauty of this rant is that it perfectly captures the existential crisis of every developer who's peeked into Haskell's mathematical purity only to back away slowly. "Hello I would like [1,2...] apples please" - because apparently ordering groceries requires a PhD in category theory now. Those code snippets with question marks are the programming equivalent of opening a physics textbook to a random page and questioning your career choices. The mathematicians have indeed played us for absolute fools!

Oh look, an executive order for the MATLAB developers! The age-old religious war between array indexing at 0 vs 1 just got a new contender. While C, JavaScript, and Python devs start counting from 0 like sensible humans following computer memory offset logic, and MATLAB/R folks start at 1 like mathematical purists, here comes the decree that 2 is somehow the ultimate starting index. Next up: semicolons are now optional but randomly required, and all loops must be written backwards. The compiler will decide if your code runs based on its mood that day.

Ah, the classic machine learning joke that hits too close to home! Instead of having its own preferences, the ML algorithm just wants to know what everyone else is drinking—because that's literally how it works. Collaborative filtering in a nutshell. This is basically every recommendation system ever built: "I see you're a human with unique tastes and preferences. Have you considered liking exactly what everyone else likes?" Next thing you know, the algorithm is wearing the same outfit as all the other algorithms at the party.

When your neural network confidently labels a cat as a dog, but everyone's freaking out about the AI apocalypse. Look, I've been training models for 15 years, and I can assure you the biggest threat isn't Skynet—it's that production code written at 3 AM with no code review. The real uprising will start when my model can correctly identify my cat and remember to order cat food when I'm running low. Until then, we're safe from the robot overlords... probably.

The sweet summer child who thinks they can skip math and just "make cool games" is about to get absolutely demolished by reality. Game development is basically applied mathematics in disguise - vectors, quaternions, matrices, physics simulations, and collision detection algorithms waiting to ambush you like final bosses. The bottom panels show the major game engines and graphics libraries (Unity, OpenGL, C++, and what looks like PhysX) literally laughing their logos off at this naive declaration. They're like "Sure buddy, good luck implementing that 3D rotation without understanding linear algebra or calculating that trajectory without differential equations!" Game dev without math is like trying to build a skyscraper with popsicle sticks and wishful thinking. Those complex formulas on the chalkboard? That's just the tutorial level.