When Your AI Co-Pilot Chooses Violence

Ah, the irony of modern tech! Here's a vintage book teaching "Artificial Intelligence in BASIC" from what looks like the 80s, sitting right next to "EXPERT SYSTEMS" on the bookshelf. Fast forward to 2023, and we're all losing our minds over ChatGPT and friends—billion-dollar AI systems built on Python, a language that would make your CPU cry if you asked it to calculate 2+2 in less than half a second. The cosmic joke is that we've gone from programming AI in languages designed to be "Beginner's All-purpose" to building world-changing models with a language where indentation errors can crash your entire system. Somewhere, this book's author is either laughing hysterically or weeping uncontrollably.

An AI trained on StackOverflow responses would indeed be the most passive-aggressive assistant ever created. It would have a PhD in telling you your question is a duplicate of something posted in 2011, suggest you should have read the documentation that doesn't exist, and occasionally remind you that what you're trying to do is "trivial." The only thing missing is the ability to close your real-life problems as "off-topic."

Google's corporate evolution in one image. Started with "Don't Be Evil" in 2004, now apparently pivoting to "Killbots For Sale" by 2025. Typical tech company lifecycle - begin with idealistic college dorm room philosophy, end with weaponized AI that can efficiently terminate human life. Progress, I guess? Shareholders must be thrilled. Nothing says "increased quarterly earnings" like autonomous killing machines. Just waiting for the AWS Terminator instance pricing page to drop.

Congratulations, humanity. We've spent decades perfecting calculators—devices with the singular purpose of doing math correctly—only to replace them with AI that guesses answers like a hungover liberal arts major. Language models see "2+2" and think "hmm, these symbols often appear near '4' in text, so that's probably right" instead of, you know, adding . It's like building a toaster that occasionally decides your bread would be better as soup. The irony is exquisite—we've created systems smart enough to write poetry but too "creative" to remember that math has actual rules.

The ultimate video compression algorithm! This dev created a function that identifies and removes "unnecessary" frames from movies—and apparently decided that 99.9999% of Fast & Furious is just excessive explosion footage. The algorithm is technically correct (the best kind of correct)—if you strip out everything except the plot, you're left with approximately 0.042 seconds of content. Reminds me of that time I optimized our codebase by deleting all the comments, whitespace, error handling, and user interface. Ship it!

The absolute state of enterprise software in 2024! This soap dispenser pumping directly onto a bar of soap perfectly captures how legacy companies implement AI - just slapping a chatbot on top of their ancient codebase without any actual integration. It's like putting racing stripes on a horse-drawn carriage and calling it "AI-powered transportation." The poor chatbot is just sitting there, desperately trying to make sense of 20-year-old spaghetti code written by developers who have long since retired to tropical islands.