We Are Fine

The classic programmer journey: You start crafting the perfect ChatGPT prompt, explaining your complex problem in excruciating detail... and halfway through, your brain suddenly connects all the dots. Your fingers freeze. Wait. You just solved it yourself. It's like summoning a server farm worth of computing power just to mimic what your rubber duck could have done for free. The irony isn't lost on any of us who've spent 45 minutes writing a StackOverflow question only to figure it out right before hitting submit. Pro tip: Skip the AI and just keep a rubber duck on your desk. Same debugging power, zero tokens used.

SWEETIE, GitHub Copilot promised you'd code 55% faster, but FAILED to mention you'd be creating bugs at HIGHWAY SPEEDS! 💀 The coding police have arrived, and honey, your bug count is so high it's breaking traffic laws! Sure, you're typing like a caffeinated cheetah, but your code quality is giving "crash test dummy" vibes. That's not productivity—that's a CRIME SCENE waiting for a git commit!

HONEY, PLEASE! Slapping an "AI" label on basic conditional logic is the tech equivalent of putting a Ferrari badge on your 1998 Toyota Corolla! 💅 The ABSOLUTE DRAMA of Uber claiming they're using "artificial intelligence" when they're literally just checking *if drunk_time == true && location == bar && app_fumbling > 30sec*. I. CAN'T. EVEN. 🙄 The tech industry's relationship with the term "AI" is more toxic than my ex's Instagram stories. Just because you can write an if-statement doesn't mean you've created HAL 9000, DARLING!

Content Vibe coder Me reviewing his PR after vibe coding 69th revision

Nothing says family bonding like your dad confidently proclaiming your career's imminent doom. The classic "AI will replace programmers" statement—delivered with the same certainty as "you should've been a doctor" and "have you tried turning it off and on again?" Meanwhile, programmers everywhere are writing the AI that supposedly will replace them, debugging its hallucinations, and fixing its broken dependencies. The irony is thicker than legacy code comments. But sure, Dad. I guarantee the robots will take my job right after they figure out how to untangle my spaghetti code and decipher what "// TODO: fix this later" actually means.

Sure, AI will replace programmers... right after it figures out what "a button that does something" means. The robot claims it just needs clear requirements and detailed specs, meanwhile product managers are out here giving requirements like they're ordering at a restaurant after three martinis. Good luck getting that neural network to interpret "make it pop" or "you know what I mean, right?"