Too Afraid To Ask About The Vibe

The classic technical debt has come due! Our protagonist spent 1.5 years building a house of cards with ChatGPT as the foundation. Now they're facing a monitored VM environment where their AI lifeline is severed, and they've got 21 hours to learn what they should've spent 1.5 years studying. This is like trying to cram for a swimming test after pretending to be Michael Phelps while secretly using floaties. The controlled environment is the ultimate "runtime error" for someone who's been copy-pasting their way through education! The irony is delicious - they've been training an AI to code instead of training themselves. Now they're contemplating risking academic dishonesty or cramming an entire Java curriculum overnight. Talk about a self-inflicted NullPointerException to their career!

So that's how GPT-5 reasoning works! Just wait 30 milliseconds, print "reasoning complete," and then call GPT-4. Revolutionary stuff. Turns out all those fancy AI companies are just adding a sleep timer and calling it "reasoning." Next they'll tell us AGI is just GPT-4 with a 60-second nap and a cup of virtual coffee. The best part? It's MIT licensed, so we can all pretend to have reasoning capabilities now! Just remember: the key to advanced AI isn't better algorithms—it's better acting .

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of calling this a "random" function! 🙄 Some genius decided that the PEAK of randomness is asking ChatGPT for a seahorse emoji and calling it a day. Because nothing says "unpredictable results" like the EXACT SAME RESPONSE EVERY SINGLE TIME! Honey, that's about as random as a train schedule in Switzerland. Next time just write return 4 and call it "random" – at least be honest about your commitment issues with actual randomness! 💅

Content Me Emojis in code

Remember when we actually knew how to build websites? Now I've got a decade of experience but can't center a div without asking ChatGPT. The moment those AI servers go down, I'm reduced to a praying mantis in human form, desperately hoping my muscle memory kicks in for basic HTML tags. "What was that flexbox syntax again? Is it justify-content or align-items? LORD HELP ME."

Junior developers turning their heads away from perfectly good documentation and help resources to stare longingly at the siren call of ChatGPT with half-baked prompts. The eternal struggle of tech leads everywhere - watching their team ignore centuries of accumulated wisdom in favor of asking an AI "how 2 center div plz?" and then implementing whatever hallucinated garbage it spits out. The documentation might as well be written in invisible ink at this point.